In his Rolling Stone interview, John Mayer discusses jacking himself off every second of the day:
"I am the new generation of masturbator. I've seen it all. Before I make coffee, I've seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I mean, I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself."
John on the gay rumors:
"I don't care about anything other than energy. That's why people think, 'Is he bi? Is he that?' I've never slept with a man. But I get it. I've seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women."
Let's try to visualize that, shall we?
So, it's the middle of winter, and I found a bunch of pics of hotties gettin' naked on lawns. It made me long for summer. Yep, in the middle of winter, I should be posting pics of hot guys pissing in the snow, but I've done that. I wanna hump on a lawn. I'm sure you understand.