Tom Bacchus on the Vine

Model Behavior

2012-01-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

Ever since mankind could scrape a drawing on a cave wall or sculpt a bit of stone or clay, the male (and female) ideal of physical beauty has been put on a pedestal as a "model" of perfection.

Thousands of years later, models still serve to showcase fashion, from underwear to high couture, while still leaving the majority of us regular folks to feel somewhat inadequate by comparison, and sometimes compelled to purchase the perfumes, furs or other fancy products with the tacit understanding that we may never compare to their paid-for strutting beauty.

Oh, well. It's nice to have goals.

This recent photo, which got tossed around on the Gordian Knot of Tumblr nudie blogs, shows a big muscular and probably Italian male model strutting what the gods gave him.

While I'm rather sure it's a well-done fake (if it were real, there would be a LOT of other pics; the room at any runway show is half-full of photographers), it does recall the increasing commingling of erotica and high fashion (I'd love for anyone to present other pictures of this fantastic specimen, real, fake, clothed or not, as well as - oh, please, oh, please- video footage of this hunk working the catwalk while his gonads do the bouncy-bouncy).

This isn't the first time male pulchritude has been displayed for the obtuse purpose of selling fancy rags, or on the runway.

The most amusing and well-known are the two surf hunks who bared all...

... and another model who, along with spooky contact lenses, deliberately displayed his peen popping out of a high-fashion fly.

But as deftly explored by the tantalizing Favorite Hunks blog, the line between erotica and high fashion modeling has been blurred, or, more precisely, put into sharp focus, specifically toward the full-frontal nude bodies of male models.

A popular shot is that of the model allegedly showing off designer underwear.
Brock Chapman:

Unknown yet amazing:

But the wet, semi-erect shots seem to obliterate any memory of which underwear we're supposed to buy to emulate these hung hunks. Instead, we end up simply drooling at their bodies and fantastically huge cocks.

Here's Dale Rouse and his amazing cock. Oh, and a hat.

Here's Todd Sanfield and his amazing cock. Oh, and some underwear.

Here's Todd and his amazing ass.

We're all well aware of the now-famous controversy over model Joseph Sayers' first nude modeling session, and how those photos became so sought after because of their rarity. These days, seeing Joe's johnson isn't so rare, but always nice.

These days, Sayers often shows his entire body, if not his winking butthole.

And 'Boys Gone Wild' subject Michael Biserta, briefly went into modeling briefs...

..while briefly being known more for an appendage that's hardly brief:

Tangents of this theme include porn actors who've freelanced in regular modeling; the whimsically gorgeous Francois Sagat, and former Sean Cody fuck machine Harley (aka model Simon Dexter).

Here's Harley getting fucked.

Other male models who have yet to take the plunge into orifice-entering erotica, thankfully show their goods in arty poses that have little, if anything, to do with selling clothes.

Model Michael Fusco, just being perfect:

Model Jamie Dominic; you don't want that underwear...

... you want what's in them.

Some, perhaps enjoying the frisson of their deserved exhibitionism, take the Internet initiative, and show off their cocks via homemade porn pics and cam videos.

Unknown model, showing it all:

Here's model Ben Ryan, showing off his true talent.

Others, like the gorgeous Benjamin Godfre, simply can't seem to keep their clothes on, and even jacked off in a short video which he shared with his fans. And that's a good thing.

Or, (my big finale!) before becoming models, they jack off and share it online, as with brothers (!!!) Kevin and Joel Baker (just not together).

Time For A Cumshot brought to you by Big Cam Tube

Should we feel inadequate because we're not as photogenic? No, of course. There's a fan base for pretty much any body type these days. Muscular and penile perfection are such a rarity, it's hardly reasonable to consider these hunks as a model of normality.

But they are fun to look at.

Suits Me

2012-01-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ah, New Year's Eve; I have a fond memory of an abrupt encounter at a swanky midtown hotel a few years back. I'd been invited to a huge mixed party; straight and gay, formal, and swanky!

Something about seeing all those straight men in suits get gradually more and more drunk as they pawed their female dates led me to almost ignore my gay pals and target a few objects of "trade."

One of them, a compact fellow whose tie was slightly askew, faltered drunkenly away from his date after she got upset about something.

Crafty me; I followed him as he swayed down the hotel hallways toward the men's room.

Waiting just long enough to time my entrance to coincide with his mid-piss, i sidled up right next to him, whipped mine out, and openly stared at his gushing weiner.

"Like what you see?" he teased. I licked my lips, smiled and reached for it.

Boy, was I happy that swanky toilet lacked a human attendant, but had those swanky private floor to ceiling doors in the stalls.

He never undressed more than to keep his cock out of his zipper. At least I also managed to pull his balls out before he shot cum in my mouth. One rather quick and insistent blow job later, I left my target to finish whatever he needed to do, washed my hands, and headed back to the dance floor.

I kept an eye out for him, but never saw him again.

It suited me fine. And what a great way to start the new year!

Santa, Baby!

2011-12-17T13:14:00.000-08:00

Santa Claus is cumming.
Don we now our gay apparel.
Dick the halls.
The holidays are so gay!

Showoffs

2011-12-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

What's better than a hot gogo stud?
Two hot gogo studs?

What's better than two hot gogo studs?
Two hot gogo studs with boners.

What's better than two hot gogo studs with boners?
Two hot gogo studs sucking and fucking on a bar.

A Nice Jewish Boink

2011-11-27T11:46:00.000-08:00

GoodIs has a feature about straight porn stud James Deen, which provided me with the ammo for a post about him.

The feature (and Slate's tangent article) discusses "porn women like" which implies that women like to see a nice guy who isn't overbearing boink a lady. Also, men are intimidated by male str8 pornsters who are hotter than the viewer (like muscle stud Dillion Day, perhaps?).

"He filled a void the industry hadn’t even realized existed. “Here comes my skinny little Jewish ass,” Deen says of his debut. “Everyone’s like, ‘Huh, he stands out.’ It was a Where’s Waldo-type situation.” Viewers turned off by the typical porn guy— especially young women—started picking Deen out of the scenery.

Today, they can watch him engage in vanilla sex with large-breasted “schoolgirls” for Brazzers, bind and gag sex slaves for Kink.com, stage explicit Seinfeld parodies for New Sensations, and penetrate punk princesses for Burning Angel. There are some things he won’t do: Deen stopped working for one site because he found the plots “a little rapey."

He records a new scene almost every day. In 2009, when Adult Video News named him “Male Performer of the Year,” he was the youngest guy ever to snag the title. Deen knows he should have been thinking, “‘I’m the man! I won this!’” Instead, he snuck outside for a cigarette to avoid taking the stage. “My overanalytical Jew brain goes, ‘Fuck, I have to win this every year or it goes downhill. I’ve peaked at 20.’”

But despite a growing female following, the industry’s engineers are reluctant to invent new uses for him. Like all men who work consistently in pornography, Deen is clean, punctual, and erect. He knows how to angle a woman toward the camera. In some videos, he appears only as a disembodied, thrusting penis. He bills himself as “the luckiest boy alive.” Deen is polite, self- deprecating, and speaks well of everyone."

See? A nice Jewish boy who can also plow you into next week with his enormous schlong. And his Robin costume in a Batman porn parody satisfies anyone's superhero porn taste.

Deen reminds me of a few nice straight college pals who let me suck them off, and one particularly nice dorm-mate who didn't mind my peeking in on his regular banging of chicks. We had separate rooms, but close enough for a little voyeuristic fun.

Deen also has done some rather odd kink videos which I find disturbing, but hey, it's consensual, so whatever. I do like that he likes getting his skinny butt licked on occasion.

You can watch James Deen go to town HERE, HERE and HERE, HERE and on lots of other sites (I chose not to embed any videos due to annoying pop-up ads).

Of course, given my druthers of hot straight nice Jewish boys for whom I'd trash my entire porn collection just for the chance to be plowed by, I'd choose journalistic integrity up my butt.

It's with a little guilt that I've often found my hand in my pants during ABC News reports about the Gulf oil spill, only because it was reported by the utterly gorgeous sweet boyish Matt Gutman.

The acknowledged subject of adoration by ladies and guys, it's almost ridiculous to know that Gutman had previously only done radio news. Really? Radio, with a cute face and that hot body? Sheesh.

Anyway, Gutman is straight, happily married and yet does not get enough air time to suit his fans' desires.

Can you imagine him anchoring? Already thousands, if not millions, of fans swoon whenever he does a segment where he gets wet or goes shirtless, or even, as in one clip, drops trou under a towel! Oh, my.

Either way, whether it's hardcore or hard news, Happy Hannacock!

Flashy

2011-11-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

Oh, the fun stuff one can find on Youtube!

Here's one I copied. Still can't believe it hasn't been censored!!

Grab 'em before they disappear, with Download Helper.

Got wood?

2011-11-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

Tree to be you and me!

Gleegasm

2011-11-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

Dressing Down

2011-10-29T17:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry; meant to post the annual hot guys in funny costumes slew sooner, but was absolutely heep-notized by da snow.

Clean Scene

2011-10-22T00:56:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a gargantuan bathroom, enough to host half a dozen guys at a time. Shower time is so quickly fun time when you're in the mood. Of course, a claw-foot bathtub can be fun, too.

Saturday Comics!

2011-10-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

Were I consistent blogger, I'd do this each Saturday. Nothing like a cuppa joe and some sexy gay comics to get my weekend morning started off stiff and happy!

Check out the many blogs of wonderful accomplished erotic comic artists who share their bonerific artwork!

Superversity collects nude and mainstream yet sexy artists (check his links, too).

Patrick Fillon, one of the best!

Buy his comic books! there's nothing hotter than enjoying hot comics with a flashlight -and Fleshlight- under the covers!

From original characters to nude and sexy takes on popular animated characters, I'm drawn to this hot stuff!

Rob Bartell's hugely muscled huge-cocked dudes!

And for some fine art male nudes, check out Jacques Sultana!

Tug It!

2011-10-06T17:19:00.001-07:00

Why I love Jimmy Kimmel's show.

Sweet Jane

2011-10-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

Hottie actor Thomas Jane tells The L.A. Times that as a struggling 18-year-old actor, he often performed sexual acts with other men in order to pay the bills. "As James Dean said, you're going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don't accept people's sexual flavors," Jane explains.

"When I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless. I didn't have any money and I was living in my car," the actor recalls. "I wasn't averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?"

Jane adds that the experience "blew the doors off my conventional upbringing" and opened him up to new possibilities. "You're a lot more open to experimentation as a young man," he tells The L.A. Times. "And for me, being a young artist and broke in Los Angeles, I was exploring my sexual identity."

The actor -- whose former wives include Aysha Hauer and Patricia Arquette -- doesn't regret his decision to dabble in same-sex relations.

"Until you've tasted the food, you don't know whether you'll like it or not, as my mom always said," he says.

Another source

Jane has done numerous nude scenes in films, played a gay/bi hustler two or three times, and of course plays a working class dad forced to become a hooker in the cable show 'Hung,' where his character has a huge penis, which is never shown on-screen.

H'wood gossip claims 'Hung' will finally include some gay-for-pay action, which only makes sense, since the idea of a male hustler who only services women is rather silly.

Here's Tom smooching with Vincent D'Onofrio in the hustler-ific "the Velocity of Gary":

See a twinkalicious Tom Jane in one of a few Indian Bollywood movies he made at the barely ripe age of 18. This one's really strange.

Thanks for being honest, Tom! Let's hope it gets you lots of high ratings for your show. You're adorable!

Pavel's Dog

2011-10-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Я хочу, чтобы облизать его на всем протяжении.

My discovery du jour is the gorgeous Pavel Petel.

Petel is part of the Russian duo Naked DJs. The duo, Petel and his wild twinky partner, also design cool stuff.

Я выпил бы Павла мочу на завтрак!

A Slavic variation on the Tom of Finland ideal of hyper-masculine perfection, Petel is not averse to a little drag, either.

Павел, позвольте мне лизать задницу в течение месяца.

The stud obviously has a sense of humor about his incredible beauty, as shown through his accurately titled Live Journal, Viagra, Steroids, Hair Removal.

Павел, я бы ограбить банк, чтобы заплатить, чтобы вы DJ голая в моей спальне в течение года.

A Moscovite version of Francois Sagat, Petel seems wryly amused by his natural and constructed beauty, and is one of few muscle men who can get away with a variety of hilariously campy and sexy costumes. Among his recent little DJ strip shows is "Narcissism," his amusing self-love act in front of a mirror.

Enjoy a variety of his photos at clubs, showing off his body in front of former Soviet Republic monuments, and thankfully, his fully naked body!

Павел, позвольте мне кусать соски и сосать, что твердый член.

Павел Петель мог сидеть на моем лице, пока мне не задушила его красотой.

Some entrepreneurial U.S. club promoter needs to get off his/her ass and bring these two to the States, before such wild fun is completely outlawed here.

Funny how a former communist empire is now better at racy nightlife than we are.

See Pavel in action!

Павел Петель мог сидеть на моем лице, пока мне не задушила его красотой.

Tumblin' Dicks

2011-09-25T17:53:00.000-07:00

Oh, the sheer rambling randomness of Tumblr!

It seems that Tumblr has replaced blogging as the new online porn. As Facebook posts are reduced (or duplicated) as random Tweets, now nude dudes are just popping up in a prolific volume that defies categorization. And that's frustrating for me, because I'm all about context. Why is this guy naked? Where is he? How come he's fucking that guy, etc.

Still, I love 'em: Flaccid Affairs, Hot Men X2 and Bad Dogs are just a few of the best. Each one reposts a post from another blog, leading to a Gordian Knot-like game of Weenie Roullette.

I like to know things about nudes. Is the guy a model? A pro whore? European? Some Grindr trick you passed up? your third cousin? Even though Tumblr blogs often claim categorization, they more often just offer a scroll of one hot dude with no context after another. Old Colt models, chunky bears, hung twinks, showering jocks, and the plethora of (often deservedly) narcissistic iPhone self-documenters.

Once in a while, a few amateurs are exhibitionistic enough to post multiple nude self-portraits. We, the voyeurs, then get a sense of the whole man and his holes. It's like collecting baseball cards, with big thick, sometimes, cum-spurting bats.

Here are just two very different guys who, fortunately, shared more than just one nudie pic with the Interwebs. Above is a hairy gorgeous lean dude. Below is a husky Wolverine. Both are completely different, yet completely fuckable.

(Hehe; update Bad Dog mentioned my mention of his blog. I got a boner. Okay, I already had one while scrollin' through his new stuff.)

Jailbait

2011-09-21T17:46:00.000-07:00

Ryan Idol Goes to Jail

(source: Sacramento Bee) A Sacramento Superior Court jury convicted a one-time gay porn star Tuesday of attempted murder for smashing his girlfriend over the head with a toilet tank lid.

Marc Anthony Donais, 47, known in his x-rated movies as Ryan Idol, was taken into custody and held without bail after his conviction for the Sept. 5, 2009 attack in the woman's home on 48th Street in Sacramento.

According to testimony at trial, the 41-year-old woman had broken up with Donais, who claimed to be bisexual. She testified she moved out of their West Sacramento condo when he knocked on her door the night of the attack while she was taking a bath.

She told jurors she let Donais into the house and that he immediately told her he wanted to kill her. He testified at trial that he thought she had pulled a knife on him during their discussion in her bathroom and that he grabbed the toilet tank lid and hit her with it out of self defense.

Donais is a former model who once appeared as a centerfold in Playgirl magazine, according to assorted web sites. Several of the sites described him as a popular actor in gay pornograhic films who appeared in several movies in the 1990s under his stage name of Ryan Idol.

"Score 10?" More like 9-14, with a few years off for good behavior.

Cop Hump

2011-09-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

Oh, goody. More cops fucking.

Well, not exactly fucking, but humping ladies at a parade in New York.

Of course, we gays know better how to tease cops more thoroughly, and get them to bare their weapons.

Of course, instead of fucking chicks on their cars, some cops just like to jack off in their cars.

Historotica

2011-09-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

He's hot, or was. He's naked in LIFE.

Tumblr blog I Got the Bullets shares the titillating fact that the Google Life magazine archives have a bunch of fascinating vintage photos of world famous actors and athletes ..stark naked, or nearly so.

Hockey great Bobby Hull! So adorable!

Astronaut John Glenn sleeping in his undies!

Pat (then hot, young, and not a rightwing asshole) Boone naked in the shower!

Steve McQueen's hot buns!

Baseball great Bob Maris soaping up naked in the shower!

Great stuff. Let me know what other treasures you find!

Cop Rock Cock

2011-09-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

In the "Heterosexually Privileged Public Sex Acts Department," case #267934968...

"He's in uniform, in public, and definitely caught in flagrante. But investigators said the state police officer caught on camera having sex on the hood of a car did not commit a crime."

Apparently, Santa Fe, New Mexico is the new hotbed of wild public sex for municipal employees. Bert Lawrence Lopez was videotaped by security cameras fucking a woman in (ew) ballet slippers, while her chihuahua -or a prairie dog- watched. So, basically, this is a case of man on car with dog/voyeur sex.

One news station repeatedly stated in its segment that the images "MAY BE OFFENSIVE," then proceeded to show the screencap a dozen times in two minutes.

No charges. Mmm. Okay. So, is it because he is straight that he wasn't charged? Is there some specific note in the Santa Fe police officers manual that states, "You may bang a chick on the hood of your car, in daylight, in public"?

"The pictures show a state cop wrapped up in an inappropriate position, having sex on the top of a car in public. The photos were taken by a security camera at the out of the way Canyon Ranch, which is owned by Santa Fe county.

State police are not releasing the officer's name, but News 13 has learned it's Bert Lopez. The 8-year vet was state police officer of the year in the Santa Fe district in 2010. Even though state police won't confirm it's him, NMSP Sgt. Tim Johnson did tell News 13 that Lopez is currently, “On administrative leave.”

Johnson wouldn't say if the officer was officially on duty but did say “An employee who did something like this in uniform would be considered on duty.” The pictures surfaced about two weeks ago, and Johnson said, “An internal investigation was initiated immediately.” [Yeah, I'm sure they watched it a lot!]

State police have completed that investigation, and Johnson says “At this point we do not believe any criminal activity occurred.”

State Police are not identifying the woman in the pictures, and won't comment on her relationship to the officer. They do say the woman was not involved in any of the officer's cases.

Santa Fe County Sheriff Robert Garcia said he will not cite the officer for indecent exposure or public lewdness because there was no victim; no one was around to see it."

So, if an ass thrusts in the desert and no one's there to smack it, did it thrust at all? Quite existential, or just a re-enactment of a Reno 911 episode.

Here's the alleged stud photographed in a previous and unrelated story.

He's cute in a Kevin James kind of way. His sexiness is more contextual. 'Yes, Officer, I was speeding. Yes, Officer, I'd be happy to fellate you in exchange for not getting a ticket.' Thus ensues the plot of a gajillion porn movie scenes, gay straight and otherwise.

While I'm going to refrain from detailing my own hilariously sexy experiences with men in uniform right now, I should state that I find public sex to be a good thing; so long as no youngsters or horses are nearby to get frightened.

I think we need to adopt something like the Swedes did, a "hooker zone," where lonely men can negotiate with lady ho's. As for gays, we always find a place.

But the thing that bugs me about this is, if it were a gay sex hump caught on tape, they'd both be in jail right now. You know it's true.

It'd also be hotter ... or not. At least they'd pose in a more photogenic angle.

UPDATE: Oops. Bert got canned. Oh, well, maybe he can do porn and show us his can.

But more important, how will the Chihuahua ever recover from the trauma?

Up-UPDATE: OMG, Bert is frakkin' hawt!

Apparently, before getting fired, he was awarded a "Challenge Coin" for services beyond the call of duty.

I'll say!

All Wet

2011-08-27T16:20:00.001-07:00

And I'm outta here.

(Now with improved floppy-dick close-up!)

Cock Reign

2011-08-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

Well, this is totally wonderful.

Remember Danny from Sean Cody? Of course, it's odd to ask if one "remembers" a porn puppy like this hotty, since thanks to the Interwebs, porno is forever!

Sean Cody Danny Gets Fucked found on fapdu porn tube in teen porn

Well, Danny, who started off with a little JO scene, then a dildo buttplay scene, then fucking guys, then getting fucked, then threeways and all-out orgiastic four- and six-ways, is probably one of the more stellar stars of Sean Cody's delicious stable of studs.

Now he's in a different corral, the mixed martial arts ring. His sports name is even more porntastic, Dakota Cochrane.

He looks great, although I could have sworn he wasn't 5'8"; more of a pocket gay; 5'5" tops (pun intended).

Isn't it great that a cutie pie who's shared his tender butthole and voluminous ejaculations is now sharing his homoerotic fighting skills?

Isn't it wonderful of the MMA community to accept an athlete who's also displayed some of the most athletic ways to get your ass pounded, literally, not just in sports terms?

Isn't it great to think what fun goes on in the locker room after his bouts? Well, we don't have to imagine at all, do we?

Here he is fighting Mark Dickman. You can't make this stuff up!

Here's more videos; MMA (mixed martial arts) ones, not BFB (butt-fucking buddies).

Thanks, Danny, er, Dakota. Long may your cock reign.

UPDATE: do we love Queer Me Now? We love QueerMeNow. We will gladly offer a wet sloppy cum-dribbling lip-lock to Queer Me Now, because they simply gave me a lil credit for sharing this story. Plus, they posted more fun pics of Danny/Dakota that I didn't bother to find. Yum!

Then the hella fun Fleshbot cribbed from them and offered an amusing round-up for porn guys and their day jobs.

LOSERS: Oh, looky; a week later, GayDemon caught on, paraphrased my post, didn't give me credit and took the same video and pics. Thanks, whores!

Another really messy porn website caught on, too.

Men of Porn gave me a shout out, too. Thanks, hot sluts!

Gym Dandies

2011-08-13T00:10:00.000-07:00

So, I've been going to the gym a lot lately; fighting time and gravity.

Sure, there are often hotties showing it off. But it's rarely like the pics attached.

Too often, there are always the sad old guys who take way too long primping themselves and peeking at others.

Worse are the trolls who deliberately prance around naked showing off their sagging bellies, tiny dicks and obvious pervy behavior.

While I don't mind witnessing a little wank action in the steam room, it does make me prefer to stand. I can't imagine what sort of goo is on the seats.

Yes, I'm an old 'mo. So who am I to complain?

Well, I've still got what's been called a hot body. And at least unlike the grossest troll I saw today, I don't use a blow dryer on my back hair. I don't even have back hair.

Still, it's nice to see nice nudes. It is an inspiration, even for an old troll like me.

Transgressive Catholic Gay Sex-Fucking: A Love Story

2011-08-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

Jesus Fucking Christ!
This Gawker article made me holy horny!

I don't think my post about it even needs photos!

Catholic U Dorms Brace for More Gay Orgies

'Is Catholic-filled Catholic University a "den of sin," infested with more STDs than your average koala bear? One can scarcely draw any other conclusion, based on the fact that the school's president now believes he must forcefully segregate students of opposite genders from one another, lest all this hot, hot sexxx continue unabated.

Catholic U prez John Garvey is getting rid of the school's co-ed dorms (which have been in place for more than 20 years), due to the fact that these supposedly Pope-worshiping young students can't stop fucking their fellow dorm-mates, possibly before, during, or after drinking the demon rum.'

This comment got me turgid:

"I went to Notre Dame and they have a separate tiny dorm for all the students studying to go into the priesthood. Rumor was that they were constantly getting disciplined by the university because the boys in that dorm would NOT. STOP. FUCKING each other. All hours of the night. And if I ever write a memoir about my college experience, it will be called Transgressive Catholic Gay Sex-Fucking: A Love Story."

Okay, maybe another photo; couldn't find a still of Pavel in priest drag; not that clergy are the ones banging away at this university ...allegedly.

And how about a clip of Pavel Novotny in priest garb having a hot gay sex threeway, not in a dorm, but don't get picky, awright?

GooGoo 4 Gaga

2011-07-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, this has got to be the gayest straight porn feature yet (excluding pretty much every scene of dick-rubbing double penetration, which is bisexual-ish).

I've downloaded, er, purchased! (yeah, right) a few of the "porn parody" str8 flicks, mostly because I think context (and funny costumes) are hotter than plain old fucking.

Enjoy the trailer for the "This ain't Lady Gaga" hosted at the frequently amusing Fleshbot, or above. It's nice to see these porn actresses (and the guys, perhaps) being able to show off their dancing, singing and acting chops. The script and directors always seem to go overboard with including ugly older men, and in this one, a made-up Larry King.

While Lady Gaga is certainly at the top of my "Women I'd Go Bi For" list (Sorry, Betty White; you just got downgraded), I might feel a bit odd wanking to a porn gal impersonating her while getting plowed with Coke cans in her hair. Like many of her Little Monsters, I do feel a strange devotion to the queen of pop culture appropriation.

Perhaps there'll be a gangbang scene with a bunch of handsome male dancers in "Allejandro" Moe Shemp wigs. It'd actually be silly if they didn't have some bi or gay action in a parody porneaux about the ultimate fag hag.

My favorite comment form Fleshbot: "Why couldn't the fight have been about whether or not Gaga is an Illuminati assassin? That's the kind of gossip we like."

The Long Haul

2011-07-06T21:23:00.001-07:00

Gary Pokorny got in a drunk driving accident; his third.

Why is that of interest?
Gary Pokorny is Ken Ryker.

Sad. A giant of porn is now just lost in a jail cell. And that's not the set up for a porn movie.

The Sword has the dirt.

UPDATE:

And another:

Brock Masters Busted!

He's also turned to bareback porn now that he's, uh, more mature.

Why is it the ones with the hugest cocks have the smallest brains?

Patri-erotic

2011-07-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

Whee! Celebrate Independence Day with your own personal fireworks!

pridelacious

2011-06-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

Usually, I have a good time at Pride.
this year, i had a great time.
but I didn't bring a camera.
Oh, well.

It ended up looking like this:

Happy Pride!

Weiner Tweet

2011-06-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

Anthony, Anthony, Anthony. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

If you're gonna tweet yer weiner, take a lesson from the pros: Lighting! Action! focus! Sheesh.

Oh, and Tito? Thanks so much! next time, can you show it hard? We know it's big.

The Kindest Cut

2011-05-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, lordy. The world has ended.

The most perfect uncut dick is no more.
Erik Rhodes got circumcised!

Now, we should all support someone's decision to alter his body however he sees fit.

Rhodes expresses his decision on his blog. Seems there was some pain from that tight skin, and as he says, perhaps it was time to "change it up."

Okay. Fleshbot says: "Maybe next time Erik should switch it up with a new pair of shoes, or growing a beard. Anything involving a knife and one's penis seems like overkill."

At first I was pissed! off.

I wanna suck it once before he got it cut, like THIS.

But we can still enjoy the rest of him unchanged, like his amazingly accommodating ass:

I will miss that beautiful slip of flesh sliding back and forth over his beautiful cock tip. Now it's...different, and we'll enjoy it, and his previous videos as his uncut self.

I suppose if you really want to savor his old style, you can buy a copy:

Stripaholic

2011-05-18T17:46:00.000-07:00

The Rapture's allegedly coming this weekend.
I thought I would, too.

If the world's gonna end, might as well do it enjoying your favorite pastime.
For me, swinging, bouncing cocks, and slurpin' on dancer dicks does it.

Sausage Party, the Gay version's hot, too.

The Fame Whore

2011-04-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

Reichen Lehmkuhl always seemed to me as a bit of a fame whore.

Despite his bounty of "philanthropical" (sic) works, which include basically showing up at parties, his entire look (major plastic surgery that removed every goofy-cute aspect of his original face), and his Razzie-worthy acting gigs left me cold.

But now I can be a little heated up as he, and several blogs attest, has shown all his goods, by masturbating on Cam4.

Wow. Somebody give this guy a GLAAD Award. I mean, really. What could be more uplifting and supportive than a positive portrayal of safe sex techniques and a wholesome display of his well-muscled body and nicely average penis? Isn't he now the outest gay male celebrity in out gay male celebrity-dom?

I'm kind of not joking.

Proof in the pud(ding):

Queerty

PornforPatrick

Fleshbot

Is this The End of his career, or a nude beginning?

Pub ic We come

2011-03-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

So, about a thousand years ago, when I was in high school, after going to see 'Star Wars' at the local mini-mall, in our flare jeans and qiana shirts, a couple of st@ned pals and I removed the two L's from a roadside stand-up sign that read 'Public Welcome', had a good laugh, then stopped off on an offroad for some drunk peeing, as we glanced at each others' weenies.

I'd love to tell you that a county road orgy ensued, but we were all closeted lil teen mos at the time.

Boy, how times have changed.

Gawker reports that some frat stud banged a chick on a rooftop. It made the news, and a blog that stupidly censored the cock shots.

Apparently, the fuck stud is a sexist asswipe. Quelle surprise.

See, this is the thing I resent about heterosaximals. They engage in a lil cock n puss action and it makes the new on the blogosphere.

We homos hook up in precarious public situations, and we get busted.

Of course, in this interweb age where frickin' every fetish has its own dedicated pay-porn website, you can enjoy (fake) real amateur gay guys bangin' away in public situations pretty much anywhere.

While I don't make a cent from referring you to the hilariously sexy videos on Out in Public, and I don't recommend that you go schtupping your fuck buddy in the local parking garage (without inviting me), watching some other daring couple of studs take the risk of bangin' au naturel is pretty fun.

And that's my excuse for sharing these lovely pics of dudes showin' hard, dick-sucking and ass-bangin' in public situations; beaches, alleys, rooftops (and bottoms).

Whew, If only we could live in a world where public fucking was just another mildly amusing pastime.

Brazen Brazier

2011-02-02T20:56:00.000-08:00

Jeff Brazier has confirmed rumors that he can lick his own penis.

The TV presenter, who has previously admitted to being "proud" of the size of his manhood, admitted that he had a 'special party trick'.

Brazier said: "I do! I've not performed it for some time, but it originated from when I was an apprentice at Leyton Orient.

"The older pros had noticed that I had a talent, and one night, when I was on reserves, one of them said to me, 'I bet you could probably suck your own thingy, couldn't you?' And then another one went, 'Go on, try it!'"

He continued: "I did, yeah. I was young and pretty impressionable. I managed to touch myself with my tongue. I didn't spend too long down there, I have to say. It was just making the contact that was the impressive part. But I think it was just to do with being young and flexible.

"I've not tried recently. I did it for everyone when I was on Shipwrecked. We were all a bit down 'cos it had been raining, and the cameras were off, so I was like, 'Hey everyone, have a look at this!'... It's legendary!"

Brazier added: "I feel lucky that I've been given a good few inches above average."

And here it is!

Unfortunately, those pics are of him havng sex with a woman, who can lick it because she's on her knees. Apparently, he's some straight British non-celebrity celebrity who's done shows and reality idiocy. At least he showed off his boner in shorts on one episode.

--

Here are some guys not afraid to show off their auto-slurping talents. They're not celebrities, perhaps, but they are to me!

Aural Sex

2011-01-18T00:24:00.000-08:00

Everybody knows retired (boohoo) porn star (yes, I reserve that term for him and few others) Colton Ford can sing and make music. He actually did that before making porn.

Here's Colton in a remix by the amazing Rich Morel:

Ford's also really good live; no need for studio sweetening for this stud.

Cutie Johnny Hazard is also a singer. He's not bad with that whispery dance sex song. It's called "Deeper Into You." Get it?

Here's Johnny getting grossed out by str8 porn ...with his mother. Adorable!

And, the Best Little Bottom in the World, Dean Monroe, can also lipsynch his own self in a not un-talented way:

It would be a real new turn-on to have Dean pealing out a love song while getting plowed, doncha think?

But the latest piece of resistance (resist!) is Zeb Atlas.

Yes, after getting a hideous arm tattoo that looks like the result of fisting a Samoan inkwell, Zeb Atlas has made a music video, a cover of the classic Diana Ross song, "Love Hangover."

It's astonishingly awful, and proof that Autotune can musicalize even a cement block.

You have to see his odd manner of squinting through one eye and "snarling" one side of his lip in a way that resembles a character on some "House" episode with an obscure disease.

Congrats, though, to Zeb, not for this blunder, but for finally actually sucking a penis in his latest porneaux.

It's too bad Ford doesn't make porn anymore, because he would be great in the lead of a musical gay porn movie, with Johnny and Dean in supporting roles, and Zeb as... well, Zeb. I mean, the studios have to do something to counter their landslide of lost sales from indie and online porn.

I'm thinking a sort of sex-action-dance number pseudo-Bollywood wide-screen classic based on some epic story. Maybe if the frighteningly emaciated Chi Chi LaRue ever gets her muse back, she could direct. Jeff Stryker could return from obscurity and play the gay male pooper-popping version of Helen Lawson.

Perhaps a 'West Side Story' parody where the songs result in not gang fights, but gang bangs.
I smell Oscar! And he's not even on the set.

DILF-alicious

2011-01-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

DILF Khakis from James Van Der Beek

Drawn to it

2011-01-06T18:01:00.001-08:00

Name all the artists and you win a prize.

Wrapping Peter

2010-12-27T23:06:00.000-08:00

I Love a Man in a Uniform

2010-12-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

Senate votes to overturn military gay ban

In a landmark for gay rights, the Senate on Saturday voted to let gays serve openly in the military, giving President Barack Obama the chance to fulfill a campaign promise and repeal the 17-year policy known as "don't ask, don't tell."

Obama was expected to sign it next week, although the change wouldn't take immediate effect. The legislation says the president and his top military advisers must certify that lifting the ban won't hurt troops' fighting ability. After that, there's a 60-day waiting period for the military.

"It is time to close this chapter in our history," Obama said in a statement after a test vote cleared the way for final action. "It is time to recognize that sacrifice, valor and integrity are no more defined by sexual orientation than they are by race or gender, religion or creed."

The Senate vote was 65-31. The House had passed an identical version of the bill, 250-175, on Wednesday.

---

This post is not meant to disrespect gay soldiers, sailors, Marines, etc. (particularly all the ones I've banged), just to celebrate these guys (there certainly are 1000s of women dismissed, too. But this is a male sexy blog) and the end of this stupid policy.

There certainly won't be an outbreak of gay orgies among the ranks. there will be problems. But the U.S. has finally evolved, a little. Celebrate that.

Worshipping the Oakes' Tree

2010-11-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

Y'all know I'm a pagan. so this is a special holiday season.
Oh, yeah, this was all done way before Jesus' time.

Christmas tree? you bet, but it's long been worshipped.
trees, that is.

Well, my holiday came early, and so did I.

I'll give you a tree... and some spurting sap!

Remember Tim Oakes? you will.

The famed long-dicked exhibitionist British rugby player, after wagging his wang in a short documentary about his club, posed for an exclusive astounding photo shoot for

Only weeks ago, a Cam 4 video of his bursting with pride, showing it all, was recorded.

Worship the Oakes tree.

also on Xtube.

also on Tabloid Heat.

And at Sexi world, too!

also on Rapidshare.

Here's the old video of tim slapping his wet cock around the locker room.

Happy Horny Holidays!

Here's the sap:

Stuffing

2010-11-21T19:34:00.001-08:00

Give thanks for hot sex!

Don't forget the gravy.

Happy Hole-oween

2010-10-31T11:03:00.000-07:00

My Favre-ite cockshots

2010-10-07T12:27:00.001-07:00

You'd think he would have fluffed himself a bit more beforehand.

The story.

Brand Randy

2010-08-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

Pictures sell.

Pictures of hot men sell.

Pictures of hot men, naked, sell.

Pictures of hot men with hard dicks selling products sell.*

Better yet, pictures of men whose hard dicks you've seen elsewhere, in other ads, clothed, sell.

*(This particular example is unusual; a hot dude in a stock photo depicting Wall Street traders, from a Yahoo News article (the photo's not there). His previous Huge Bare Dicks 8 modeling ensures a bull-ball market.)

Pictures of hot men in suits and ties not showing their hard dicks, but having previously shown their hard dicks, especially hard dicks that have been sucked a thousand times and whose hard dicks have fucked more asses than can be counted, and whose ass has been plowed more times than state full of cornfields, which is a lot, whereby seeing them clothed is still pretty hot, sells.

Pictures sell.

Banana Land

2010-08-07T12:12:00.001-07:00

OMG, a faked cock bulge in a clothing catalog!

Huffington Post is cribbing Jezebel, who cribbed from Towelroad, or the other way around.

The comments are hilar. "It's Herring BONE, after all." "Add to Cart!" "Nice to see they're using plus-size models."

I've been a fan of clothing catalog bulges for a long time. I scanned a few.

Of course, there are thousands of images and dozens of blogs about soccer, swimming and other sport bulges, and amateur and porn bulges. Those are a dime a dozen.
But The Sharper Image? I'd like to ride that!

The classic is the alleged cock tip exposed in a Sears underwear ad (Sorry, don't have the full image):

Limiting the discussion to covert cock bulge in pants advertising (underwear's too easy), it's worth checking out. Catalog photographers have been doing this for years. "Hey, it's just a fold in the fabric," they'll say. But nothing is accidental in advertising images.

Another is the celebrity Look At My Crotch pose:

The variant, of course, are the homoerotic cigarette ads.

And there's just in-your-face cartoon Camel cock.

Sadly, I haven't saved a lot of those from advertising supplements and catalogs.
so, let's move on to intentional poses with hardons in pants.

Fuck it. Here's truth in advertising: We like a big cock bulge!

K(ock) Town

2010-07-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Peter Le, the hot muscular star, dubbed the "Korean Situation" in the new reality show ripping off Jersey Shore, called K Town, has shown us his delicious erect cock. He has also played with that cock, without a money shot "because THEN it would be porn." That's the SituAsian, according to Tabloid Prodigy.

It's nice that our barely closeted masturbating musclehead reality "stars" have standards.

Watch Peter Le wank his peter HERE and HERE. See proof that even when hotties spank the monkey, it's ... kinda boring. Now, that's reality.

Now, if only we can get Jake Pavelka to show off his rigid, unsatisfied member, and dance with his pants off again, I'd actually watch these shitty TV shows.

Prince Albert in Your Can

2010-07-14T23:25:00.000-07:00

Is every guy who has a pierced cock insane?
Not really.
Just every guy with a pierced dick whom I've dated.

Oh, and this guy:

"Australian police Sergeant Andrew Lawrance might lose his job after offending his boss when he attached a bottle opener to his penis piercing and opened a beer with it at a police Christmas party. What a way to get canned.

Apparently Lawrance told a group of his colleagues and their wives about his piercing at the party and they asked to see it, so he went to an empty bathroom stall, attached the opener, and returned to demonstrate his patented way to pop open a brewski. This was way back in 2008, but Lawrance had to testify about the incident in front of a police commission this week after his boss took offense to the trick, even though he didn't see it.

Strangely enough, this wasn't the first time Lawrance got in trouble for his little "trick," and he even got counseling after doing the same thing several years ago. Some people just never learn! Lawrance thinks losing his job over the incident would be "harsh," but don't worry about him too much: He already has a part-time job. Working in a bottle shop. No lie! I really hope he comes to America and goes to some crappy party where a guy pulls out his tiny junk piercing and then Lawrance steps up, gets all Crocodile Dundee, and goes, "That's not a dick piercing. Now this is a dick piercing.""

Seriously, ask any grown man to make a choice: Kiss your mother on the lips or spike a nail through your wiener. 99 times out of a hundred, they'd rather kiss their mom.
not the guys four I dated with jewel jewelry. Each one was/is nutso in his own special sexy way.

While there were so many other reasons to stop dating them, the real truth is, I've always said, when pals asked me why Hottie #470 isn't my arm candy anymore, is that sex with them was like sucking off a bottle opener. And this hot Aussie cop is literally a bottle opener.

But the copper's in luck, having gotten job offers to work in a New York bar. Why he got hassled for whipping out his cock in a bar only proves that he hasn't been to the bars I patronize.

Hell, i'm sure there's a fetish DVD already out there called Prince Albert in Your Can.

Jock Cock Tawk

2010-07-05T18:35:00.001-07:00

As Deadspin put it, Athlete Dong Is The New Celebrity Sex Tape.

Getting to see those cocks is getting easier.

Sure, you can enjoy the sumptuous uncut schlongs of French rugby players in the book version of the calendar of this year's latest Dieux de Stade studs. It's a feast of French foreskin!

But for American cock, it's down to stupid straight guys' cell phone stupidity. Apparently, hetero dudes are sexting gals left and right these days, the pervs.

"We won't be getting athlete sex tapes," wrotes Deadspin, which collects these tawdry tales under the tag Athlete Dong. Actually, a few are right, including this one Pato's Penis Pride, of a Brit soccer stud gangbang.

"For all the homoeroticism in the sports world, most of us don't really want that." We disagree, in abundance. "But dong pics are innocuous, and we're all a little curious about these large men who are so much better than us in every way."

We're actually more than curious. We hunt for such imagery, or the thing itself.

I gave up trying to find the uncensored cock pics of San Antonio Spurs stud George Hill. so did TheDirty.com, which posted 'em, then hadda retract the penis. TMZ blabs about it, but doesn't show cock, either.

I did find this with 90% nude pics of a Cardinals football player, showing off more tattoos than a cast member of Oz.

Here's some more.

My World Cup Runneth Over

2010-07-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

(Repost from 2006)

Okay, while everybody's slavishly reposting every huggy, shirtless pic from the expansive, extensive, mantacular World Cup finishing up in SOUTH AFRICA (Go, Italy!), I thought I'd post a few classics. I'm too busy to keep up on all the new piccies.

I hope you don't mind if I foray into older soccer stud pics, and limit them to those with dick and butt shots.

Yeah. I didn't think you'd mind.

What a Pisser!

2010-06-29T00:13:00.000-07:00

Skipping Pride nude pics to my favorite pre-July 4 American pastime: getting deliberately drunk at baseball games so as to repeatedly go to the men's room and catch hot guys pissing!

You think that's strange?

WTF is it with straight guys dropping trou just to take a piss? I mean, really. It's basically a welcome invitation to get fucked up the ass in the john, right?

Or were they just so incompetently potty-trained that they can't pee without dribbling all over themselves? Who in their right mind would let his pants or shorts fall to the floor of a filthy public toilet?

And these are probably the same types that make fun of gays for trolling toilets for sex. I mean, not that I've done that .... lately.

Mem. 'Mo. Real.

2010-05-31T13:07:00.000-07:00

Remember all the soldiers.

Remember all the gay soldiers and sailors.

Remember all the hot gay soldiers, sailors, marines and air force dudes we sucked, fucked and shucked!

Super Homos

2010-04-17T13:14:00.002-07:00

Sometimes, a wrapped present is more exciting before it's opened, especially when it's wrapped in a fun superhero costume. The New York Times reports on the fun club night where gay guys come out of the superhero closet and hang out in spandex. Yum!

The Skin Tight party — in which the costumes range from the familiar (like Spider-Man) to ones that only a comics geek would recognize (like the 1993 version of Superboy) — is one way that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender comic book fans are expressing themselves today. They are coming out, loud and proud, in blogs, peer groups, Web comics and more, simultaneously pronouncing their sexual identity and their devotion to comic books. But it wasn’t that long ago that the environment was less than welcoming for those who wanted to make the two seemingly disparate worlds one.

I won't reveal whether I was at that specific party, but I have been to a few others, and most Halloweens I dress as a superhero and hook up with another guy who gets that it's hotter to keep at least some of your costume on for sex!

Here are some more pics that will hopefully inspire you to unleash your secret superhero homo!

New Moon

2010-04-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

You know what it's like when you hit an entirely new throbbing vein of new hot free porn? Like Straight Muscle Butt Daddy Dillion Day in a bareback DP cock-on-cock pussyfuck?

No?

It's like this:

Starters:

Bruno, a Bazilian gogo buttboy supreme.

Featured Stunt Players: Str8 Threeway DP Friendly fire spew shot (4th clip).

Alternative Entree:

Brazilian Bisex Pride Dancers' five-way.

Comedy Act: Straight Couple Fucks in a Shopping Mall.

And our feature presentation, The Mile-Bi Club.

A classic I've longed to see.
Makes a great double header with "Airplane!"

Take off with us, indeed.

Tomorrow is Foreign Film Night, with a very young Rocco Siffredi (not yet using that name) in a vintage early 80s film in Italian. So it's educational.

But, oh, I'm too lazy to make screencaps, so let's switch topics:

Hilarious celebrity fake nudes!

Who's the newest fave on the fake cock block?

Freshly legal T ylor L utner ( a a)!

Yes, fakers have been salivating for months, years, in some cases, for the legal right to make fake nudes of of-age gents, including that little wolven hunk.

Strange. Or not.

More HERE and HERE

Oh, and an entire movie with barebacking, a variety of guys, including the aged version of whatshisname, the big-dicked 80s porn guy, which of course you shouldn't do, but it's fun to watch.

Whatever. Enjoy, you pervs.

Holey Hakan

2010-03-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

I love this video. It's basically wall to wall Hakan Joel-Serbes butt shots while he's slamming two lucky ladies.

I've always been fascinated with Hakan's butt, as are many other gay fans of gay straight porno.

Anything with Hakan and another guy is more than enough gay. In this one, he actually gets his pucker slurped, so it's extra gay.

If you're new to him, start with the classic Face Dance Obsession, with a hilarious bit of Nacho's cock getting almost in Hakan's hole. The gal sucks them off with both cocks rubbing against each other.

Gay enough for me!

How about a nice Hawaiian's Spunk?

2010-03-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

TEEN JACKS IN CLASS, GETS SPANKED!

A UH student has been endangering students by leaving his body fluids on desks in many classrooms. His blog, Hawai‘i Speedo Student, shows pictures and videos of himself masturbating in buildings such as Kuykendall, Moore, Webster, Physical Science, Watanabe and possibly more. He is currently being investigated for violating student conduct codes. Please take appropriate precautions like disinfecting desks and washing hands frequently. He is self-described as 5 foot 7 inches with frizzy blond hair, blue eyes and a slim build. Do not attempt to approach the student. If you notice him or anyone else exhibiting sexually deviant and psychotic behavior, call Campus Security

From the always fabulous Queerty, a massive bit of pornjournalism!

Since at least January, Tim, a gay 22-year-old senior at the University of Hawai'i-Manoa, has been recording himself masturbating, and uploading the videos to Xtube. He goes by the username "SpeedoStudent1," which represents his fetish for all things Speedos, Lycra, and jocks; he got his first Speedo at age 19 and has been hooked ever since. The earliest video of him on Xtube is called "First load of 2010." He is, plainly, an exhibitionist, and for the titillation of his fans (he has 2,286 on Xtube) and his own self-satisfaction, decided to traverse his college campus and record himself in Speedos, sometimes aroused, in each classroom he took a course in. With the help of a friend working the camera, he managed just that — even without receiving class credit! In one video, titled "Classroom speedo jerkoff," he masturbates to completion on a desk. And then he learned the lesson of posting anything to the Internet: It's very public.

Yeah. Now everyone knows exactly where you shot your load, in class! Ew!

Maybe because he has a blog and videos of him jacking off online, including thew one in the classroom?

Here's his Xtube Profile. He has five videos, none of them as exciting as the incriminating footage, of course.

But he is flexible in private settings.
Still, who hasn't humped a table, alone in a room with bad flourescent lighting?

UPDATE: Speedo Stud goes porny! Yep, our curly-haired hero homo is bringing sex acts back. He gets his wiener sucked and his beautiful butt plowed on camera. It was inevitable.

Bulge Hunter

2010-03-12T23:52:00.000-08:00

These are all the joyous manly cock bulge bits from merely the first disc of season one of "Hunter," starring the obviously hung Fred Dryer.

Enjoy.

Into the Wild

2010-03-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

I'm so turned on! Non-porn this time.

Dave Salmoni. He shows off some pubey-ness in the current issue of Flaunt. Yum!!

Of course, we also like him nude and wet in the bush or as Tarzan showing off his big snake. Hehe.

And then, there's Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Graphically violent, 300-derivative, ample male nudity, including Manu Bennett, whom I've adored for years, and ached to see him shirtless, and then, wham! full frontal Kiwi cock! Jeez.

And for dessert, Sterling Archer, the dorky asshole jerk spy in the hilarious animated TV show Archer.

Here's the "gay" episode. it's hilarious, Sterling gets nearly naked. A lot.

I know, he's a cartoon. But he's about as available as Dave or Manu. A man can dream.

What? Like you weren't thinking it.

Vintage Sausage

2010-03-02T19:23:00.001-08:00

Sometimes credited as Joe Markum, JOE MARKHAM is one of my favorite vintage porn studs ever.

Ever.

Did I say ever?

Snowgasm

2010-02-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but all this snow and cold weather just makes me horny.

Sure, cozying up by the fire's romantic.

But that's the easy way out.

What about pissing sucking jacking and even fucking in the snow?

Fancy a Snow Wank? Here, and here.

Naked Ice Hockey? Yes, Naked Ice Hockey. Rub my stick and I'll puck you.

Watching your pal fuck his gal right on a snow bank? Got it.

Two hetties get horny after a snowball fight, right out in the yard!

As always, two cocks are better than one, also humping in the snow.

Sorry, not finding gay snow porn videos. Hmmm.
This is pretty gay:

Sweet. Just you, your naked man, and all that snow...

... like Gold Bullion

2010-01-22T20:46:00.000-08:00

In his Rolling Stone interview, John Mayer discusses jacking himself off every second of the day:

"I am the new generation of masturbator. I've seen it all. Before I make coffee, I've seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I mean, I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion. First of all, I don't jerk off because I'm horny. I'm sort of half-chick. It's like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It's like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself."

John on the gay rumors:

"I don't care about anything other than energy. That's why people think, 'Is he bi? Is he that?' I've never slept with a man. But I get it. I've seen pictures of men on the Internet that are sexier than pictures of most women."

Let's try to visualize that, shall we?

My Ass is Grass

2010-01-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

So, it's the middle of winter, and I found a bunch of pics of hotties gettin' naked on lawns. It made me long for summer. Yep, in the middle of winter, I should be posting pics of hot guys pissing in the snow, but I've done that. I wanna hump on a lawn. I'm sure you understand.

Stuffed up my chimney with care

2009-12-27T21:22:00.000-08:00

Santa been good to me.

I got a stocking-full!

Stuffed Stockings

2009-12-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is Antonio Sabato, Jr.

Okay, I'll settle for a bootleg of each of his segments on last summer's Celebrity Circus, with him flying around shirtless. Or, him, naked, his pendulous uncut cock swaying back and forth, as he gives me a present, as in the otherwise tedious film Testosterone.

And then he can fuck me hard, like this:

This is where I unleash my Santa hat fetish:

I mean, really; what could be more hot than a chubby silver bear who breaks into houses to give kids toys?

For more Xxxmas fun, check out NightCharm's X-rated Santa video selection from last year.

And once again, I make no $$ off linking it, and it looks ultra sleazy, but here's a pay site for Gay Christmas Porn.

Okay, if Antonio's not available, i'll settle for Enzo Pileri gogo dancing in my living room.

Happy Ho'lidays.

No Levis, no johnson

2009-12-07T11:07:00.000-08:00

I don't get it.

I don't get the hype, the letdown, the overdone make-up, why they didn't take outdoors pics in Alaska, ... oh there's a thousand things I don't get.

Here's the second batch. One hockey stick, no Levi's dick.

Halloweiners

2009-10-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween!

I love sexy skimpy costumes on men at Halloween!

I love sexy skimpy costumes on men at Halloween that have easy access!

I love sexy skimpy costumes on men at Halloween that have easy access to hard cocks!

I love dressing up and making out in sexy skimpy costumes!

I love hot guys on Maskurbate!

I love the hot-cocked dudes on Anonymous Masked Men.com!

I love Halloween!

Schtupping Statham

2009-09-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

I've become so utterly fascinated by the multiply kinky aspects of the public sex scene in Jason Statham's ridiculously fun Crank High Voltage, I had to inspect it, repeatedly, over and over again. Even though we know he's not actually fucking his co-star, and wearing a cock sock, the pixelated special effects add a little more naughty fun to it all. Of course, I'd prefer to watch Jason Statham actually fuck a gal, Hell, many of us would just like to fuck him!
But until then, get a good close-up of his arse in action!

Bruno!

2009-09-19T14:47:00.001-07:00

No, not Sasha Baron Cohen's ridiculous gay character and movie, but Brazilian model Bruno Spinelli!

It seems the hot hot model isn't satisfied with showing off pretty much every bit of his hot body while modeling underpants and swimwear. the caliente one decided to show of his jack off technique in a webcam video, and after viewing it on some frustratingly embedded videos on a blog or two, it finally showed up on my favorite free porn site, Tube8.com

See Bruno jack his delicious uncut pinga, show off his muscled ass, and smile for the camera. And even better, download it yourself! E bo!

Celeb Cexy

2009-09-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

CILF: Random hot male celebs, living and gone, whom I've either had a sex dream about, or want to, or want to slurp for realz.