Since You've Been Gone

 The past few porn years were spent more on Tumblr and twitter, and a few other porn sites.. I decided to make a little sloppy, odd eccentric tribute to the 'cockstaposition' of my posts, the now-hidden and/or soon to be deleted 5-years of fun Tumblr page. I guess I'll post more stuff here. In the meantime, a little stroke down memory lane...

Here's a little video commemorating all those hours wasted collecting images to jack off to.
Link here if the embed doesn't load: http://www.xvideos.com/video44155809/ode_to_a_lost_tumblr_-_erotic_art_by_tom_bacchus

All Wet

Hey, but don't be jackin' off in the Durham University showers. The snoopy fussbudgets there claim that the sheer volume of shower-jacked jizz is clumping up their pipes. How fascist and utterly CSI bullshit is t to claim DNA testing will be done on discarded splooge?

Safety tip: Just eat it, guys.

Trailer Parked Trash

HONOLULU -- Police in Hawaii say a sidekick of TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman turned himself in to authorities after a shopping centre security guard reported seeing him naked in his pickup truck performing a lewd act.

But Tim Chapman's lawyer insisted his client spilled juice on himself and was just changing clothes Thursday night.

Police say the guard told Chapman to put on his clothes and get out of the truck.

After dressing, police say Chapman started his truck and drove over a sidewalk, nearly hitting the guard, then drove off.

The guard told police that he recognized Chapman from Duane Chapman's show "Dog the Bounty Hunter" and that he was performing an unspecified lewd act.

Duane Chapman and Tim Chapman are not related.

Tim Chapman's attorney, Brook Hart, said it was all a misunderstanding.

"It was simply a man who wet his pants with orange juice inadvertently and was changing them, doing nothing wrong at all and believing he had sufficient privacy to do it," Hart said.

Police said they were investigating whether to charge Chapman, 42.

The A&E television network put the show on hold indefinitely in November after the release of a private phone conversation in which Duane Chapman repeatedly used a racial slur to describe his son's girlfriend. He has apologized repeatedly.

you can take the trash out of the trailer, but you can't take the trailer out of the trash.


The Hole Deal

The male heterosexual ass has been discovered. At least in increasing "straight" porn videos, women are enjoying - or being paid to look as if they're enjoying- rimming licking, poking, prodding and playing with male buttholes.

And while a sex act may not have a sexual orientation, the fact, as proven here, that the straightest of men will quickly shoot a load of cum with just a bit of prostate massaging from inside his butt - something gays have known for - well, probably centuries, straight porn has finally gone gay - in the ass department, at least.

And isn't that amusing?

Shown: two of the greatest asses in str8 porn: Hakan Joel and Dillion Day, getting the tonguebaths they deserve.

Here are more short mpeg clips of Dillion: his massively muscled ass spread wide whilst fucking, another hot Dillion ass shot (hmm, it's red; was that gal spanking him? Yow!); Dillion's cock slipping out and bumping his male sex partner's; Dillion pulling out and waving his cock in front of the camera; not an ass shot, but Dillion sliding his erect cock right next to another cock (the gays love the double penetration, so gay!).

These and lots more mini-clips are provided by the wonderfully obsessed fans at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ultim8-dillionday

And if you prefer a bisexual tattooed porn stud who likes the occasional strap-on dildo up his ass, visit the Jack Hammer group. Apparently, he's in jail now for a parole violation, where he won't be needed a strap-on.

If you're like author Marty Beckerman, you want to fully experiment in butt joy - strictly for journalistic research, of course. Beckerman, a studly dude with a few funny books under his belt, decided to drop trou and let his girlfriend schtup him with a strap-on. Seems like Marty ended up enjoying it a lot, as you can tell from his hot and horny transcription of the attempt!

Of course, I'd be glad to offer my services the next time Marty wants his chunky butt serviced. His gal pal seems rather inexperienced. The few times I enjoyed a hot threeway, the guy was surprised by the level of tingly pleasures he enjoyed as I licked, rubbed, fingered, and finally plowed his butt (Okay, most times they jizzed from just a few seconds with my tongue and finger; but the next times, they learned how to control themselves). Sorry, but some women just don't get butt play, lacking a prostate. And those long fingernails are a definite no! Additionally, straight guys usually need a pre-lesson in anal hygiene.

Every time I butt-played a "straight" guy as he fucked or ate out his gal, the moment of true anal arousal ended up with him bursting forth with a sudden jolt of jizz. That's because the butt is a sexual organ, no matter what crazed racist & alcoholic Mel Gibson says.