K(ock) Town

Peter Le
, the hot muscular star, dubbed the "Korean Situation" in the new reality show ripping off Jersey Shore, called K Town, has shown us his delicious erect cock. He has also played with that cock, without a money shot "because THEN it would be porn." That's the SituAsian, according to Tabloid Prodigy.

It's nice that our barely closeted masturbating musclehead reality "stars" have standards.

Watch Peter Le wank his peter HERE and HERE. See proof that even when hotties spank the monkey, it's ... kinda boring. Now, that's reality.

Now, if only we can get Jake Pavelka to show off his rigid, unsatisfied member, and dance with his pants off again, I'd actually watch these shitty TV shows.


Prince Albert in Your Can

Is every guy who has a pierced cock insane?
Not really.
Just every guy with a pierced dick whom I've dated.

Oh, and this guy:

"Australian police Sergeant Andrew Lawrance might lose his job after offending his boss when he attached a bottle opener to his penis piercing and opened a beer with it at a police Christmas party. What a way to get canned.

Apparently Lawrance told a group of his colleagues and their wives about his piercing at the party and they asked to see it, so he went to an empty bathroom stall, attached the opener, and returned to demonstrate his patented way to pop open a brewski. This was way back in 2008, but Lawrance had to testify about the incident in front of a police commission this week after his boss took offense to the trick, even though he didn't see it.

Strangely enough, this wasn't the first time Lawrance got in trouble for his little "trick," and he even got counseling after doing the same thing several years ago. Some people just never learn! Lawrance thinks losing his job over the incident would be "harsh," but don't worry about him too much: He already has a part-time job. Working in a bottle shop. No lie! I really hope he comes to America and goes to some crappy party where a guy pulls out his tiny junk piercing and then Lawrance steps up, gets all Crocodile Dundee, and goes, "That's not a dick piercing. Now this is a dick piercing.""

Seriously, ask any grown man to make a choice: Kiss your mother on the lips or spike a nail through your wiener. 99 times out of a hundred, they'd rather kiss their mom.
not the guys four I dated with jewel jewelry. Each one was/is nutso in his own special sexy way.

While there were so many other reasons to stop dating them, the real truth is, I've always said, when pals asked me why Hottie #470 isn't my arm candy anymore, is that sex with them was like sucking off a bottle opener. And this hot Aussie cop is literally a bottle opener.

But the copper's in luck, having gotten job offers to work in a New York bar. Why he got hassled for whipping out his cock in a bar only proves that he hasn't been to the bars I patronize.

Hell, i'm sure there's a fetish DVD already out there called Prince Albert in Your Can.


Jock Cock Tawk

As Deadspin put it, Athlete Dong Is The New Celebrity Sex Tape.

Getting to see those cocks is getting easier.

Sure, you can enjoy the sumptuous uncut schlongs of French rugby players in the book version of the calendar of this year's latest Dieux de Stade studs. It's a feast of French foreskin!

But for American cock, it's down to stupid straight guys' cell phone stupidity. Apparently, hetero dudes are sexting gals left and right these days, the pervs.

"We won't be getting athlete sex tapes," wrotes Deadspin, which collects these tawdry tales under the tag Athlete Dong. Actually, a few are right, including this one Pato's Penis Pride, of a Brit soccer stud gangbang.

"For all the homoeroticism in the sports world, most of us don't really want that." We disagree, in abundance. "But dong pics are innocuous, and we're all a little curious about these large men who are so much better than us in every way."

We're actually more than curious. We hunt for such imagery, or the thing itself.

I gave up trying to find the uncensored cock pics of San Antonio Spurs stud George Hill. so did TheDirty.com, which posted 'em, then hadda retract the penis. TMZ blabs about it, but doesn't show cock, either.

I did find this with 90% nude pics of a Cardinals football player, showing off more tattoos than a cast member of Oz.

Here's some more.

My World Cup Runneth Over

(Repost from 2006)

Okay, while everybody's slavishly reposting every huggy, shirtless pic from the expansive, extensive, mantacular World Cup finishing up in SOUTH AFRICA (Go, Italy!), I thought I'd post a few classics. I'm too busy to keep up on all the new piccies.

I hope you don't mind if I foray into older soccer stud pics, and limit them to those with dick and butt shots.

Yeah. I didn't think you'd mind.