I've always had a special place in my heart - and my crotch - for male strippers.

Even the most innocuous of male strippers can be sexy, whether it's at an 18-year-old British boy's birthday party, a veneered model type in fake Conan drag (nice sword), and Italian fireman with a gorgeous body but incompetent dance skills, or a trio of twinks thrusting their hips to "YMCA" while declaring they're not gay.

In my early New York City days, I befriended a few porn guys, and a few of them hustlers. One hung dude invited me to his regular gig at the famed Gaiety Theatre. Even in my college days, I'd spied the Village Voice ads for the Gaiety, tingling inside at the burlesque possibilities of enjoying a good strip show. Soon after moving there, I stopped by a few times, thrilled by the tease of the shows.

This was before Madonna made the Gaiety famous by doing a photo shoot with actor Udo Kier and some strippers with her Sex book. And of course, it was before the Disneyfication of Times Square, and eventual closing in 2005.

Here's a rapidshare 35mg mov file from the little known bootleg video at the Gaiety. Some smart dude snuck a video camera in the theatre and captured the boner show in its heyday!

Before things went conservative, not only could you touch a stripper, but many of them flirted with patrons in the lobby, and offered their bodies for quick hustling sessions at nearby hotels and apartments. But the boys paid a price. My pal told me that the guys had to split their cum income with the management, who acted as a default pimp.

Fiscal fucking stuff aside, I enjoyed my peek backstage to see the various tricks the dancers used to get hard within minutes. If you've ever been to the Gaiety, you know the drill. The hotties comes out clothed, peels off a shirt, drops his pants and shows a nice bulge under undershorts.

Then, after another number where he's offstage, music playing, the audience can almost be audibly drooling with anticipation for the great unveiling. The stripper appears from one side of the wonderfully tackly sparkle backdrop, fully erect. Applause meter is usually comparable to the size of the dude's hardon. He then gyrates and wriggles on stage, leaning toward the more generous of tippers. He might even stand over you on your chair's arms, offering an up close cock show.

As things became more dicey under the Guiliani regime, touching became verboten. Tips had to be placed on the stage. Surly guards patrolled the aisles to evert any pocket pool.

So, before these dark days, I did enjoy a brief week as a minor performer at the Gaiety. My stage fright was quickly overcome as modest applause encouraged me. A few times, patrons simply got up and left, unsatisfied with my looks or hardon size. But that happened frequently for tohers, with the exception of the star hunks, and the inevitably extra-hung Latino hustlah playahs.

What was the trick to instant boners and generous tips? Well, sorry to disappoint, but by my time, there was no sex going on backstage. Most of the guys claimed to be gay-for-pay. But my porn buddy showed me a quick trick which turned me on and served as an inspirational whack-off technique ever since.

While some guys chose some of the ragged porn mags available, and others used the offstage mirrors to pump their cocks whicle narcissistically gazing at their own bodies, I learned the fap-fap fun of forcing blood to your cock.

Grab your balls right below where they connect to your cock. Make a ring with your fingers, yanking your balls down repeatedly like a punching bag. Let your cock whap against your fist, up and down, up and down. Think sexy thoughts, and voila! bonerific! Keep it up until the last moment before your grand re-entrance (I always kept my shoes on to keep the chill off), and smile, Louise!

Having to do this four to five times a day began to get to me. Not wanting to delve into the realm of prostitution (I can never get hard with a guy I'm not attracted to, even for money), and not having made enough cash as a regular job, I enjoyed my Gaiety experience for the thrill it was. But it certainly wasn't a career option.

Another seedier venue was Times Square's Show Place, where porn dudes regularly stripped and performed more full-length jack-off shows. They also appeared on the cable classic, the Robin Byrd Show. Boners weren't encouraged there, as Robin and her pervy partner hedged just shy of outright porn in their saucy show. If you'd ever seen how cramped and funky their studio was, you'd never sing "Bang Your Box" without a sordid grin.

Nowadays, the New York City strip scene is rather tame, as the Village Voice's gay gossip scribe supreme Michael Musto says.

So, I appreciate any guy who can wave his dick with pride and bump his hips in time to the music at a nightclub, bar, or especially a room full of shreiking horny females.

Meanwhile, uptown, the trend of Black hen parties took on fashion freaky proportions for the African-American community. Immensely hung men, adorned in costumes a la Prince in Space, enjoyed strewn dollar tips as women admired these fantastic shows.

Of course, the most famous, other than the relatively tame Chippendales, who never show it all, are the British crew Lover Boys. (links are to short mpgs.) The UK dudes' bodies range from nicely fit, extremely hung to the husky dudes who seem like rugby team dropouts.

A standard of their acts at what the Brits call Hen Parties are stripping down, hiding their tied-off boners (rubber bands or cock rings), taking a bashful gal behind their towels, lubing up their hardons with generous gobs of lotion, then forcing the ladies to jack them off and suck them. Well, obviously some are more than willing.

The gossip I got from one of these guys is that the lotion serves as camoflage for the occasional onstage ejaculation. Most of these guys are straight, and with their strip shows being rather intense, they do sometimes reach an orgasm doing what they love most, waggin' their weenies in front of a gaggle of hausfraus.

One of my favorites is the big talent Double Impact. While in London a few years ago, I enjoyed his act up close. The things he does with, on, and under a U.S. flag would make Betsy Ross quiver. His beaming smile and huge flapping dick have made male and female audiences wonder what the other Impact could be.

Taking it to the ultimate in exhibitionistic sexuality, a new spate of DVDs go all the way. Party Hardcore turns a hen party into a full tilt sex orgy. The site offers an exhausting array of free clips and pics, where the phenomenon/fetish of Clothed Female/Naked Male (CFNM) is taken to the hilt. The male stripper is the sex object and the women rule, jacking them off, sucking stripper cock as their pals hoot and holler.

Ladies Room, apparently filmed in some Eastern Europe nightclub, descends into a full-tilt bareback straight orgy. I'm thinking the sex performers were hired. But who knows? It's still fascinating in-your-face entertainment. a long way from my first brief foray into the biz, where, rent-needy, plucking a $20 bill from between the immense breats of a giggling mama still makes me smirk.

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