2.21.2013

Burnin' Love

Porn dude Donny Wright has been arrested for masturbating in a Kentucky fire station.

That's hot.

Gawker reports, and followed up with the firm grasp of the gay obvious, that Gonzales has a career of horndoggery. So many questions. Why didn't he just wait to make a porn video set in a fire station, so he could go all out, and actually fuck on a fire truck? Because it's been done?

The other pressing question is, what the fuck was he doing in Kentucky? Well, apparently, he was bored and breaking into fire stations to furiously masturbate over (on? at? with? while wearing?) the local firefighters' gear.


After firefighters heard glass breaking (Really, Danny? You couldn't just pick a lock?), they entered, found Danny (whose real name is Nicholas Gonzales), subdued him and called the cops.

When asked why he furiously fist-fapped at/on the firefighters' gear, he said, succinctly, "Because I wanted to."

Gonzales was charged with burglary, public intoxication and criminal mischief.

Surely Gonzales could have gotten some firefighting duds from a porn costumer or rental shop and had sex in said uniform. But perhaps, he, like I, realize the erotic frisson of location and authenticity. 

Despite the fact that the handsome whore is a proven versatile top and bottom, could he not have perhaps seduced a fireman or some other fellow down there in the land of inbreeding and moonshine? Is doing real porn that boring?

Additionally, why do guys like Wright use such bland nom de porneaux when their real names are so much sexier? I know, I know, privacy while being a whore, etc.Perhaps the ugly face of racism prevented him from revealing his Latino heritage, since he can "pass" for Caucasian.

Meanwhile, in the alternate universe of Brazilian heterosexuals, a couple got caught on video fucking in front of hundreds of people. Granted, they were making hump waves half underwater, but still. They got arrested and tossed a minor fine. 

Shop and compare. Straights have the arrogance to bang in public in broad daylight, while horned up pornsters resort to furtive private wankfests, even if there's a little breaking and entering.

Poor Donny. Hopefully he'll be cast in a gay sequel to Firefighting Fuckfest.

The male firefighter is a sex symbol, like any masculine, risk-taking career type. How many firefighter calendars are there, including the infamous NYC edition that featured the Hose of all Hoses, modeling has-been Michael Biserta, who all-too-briefly displayed his enormous, lengthy and utterly choke-worthy schlong in a Guys Gone Wild video.
 
I have to empathize with Gonzales. Sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. 

While I shant admit to such misdemeanors, I will guide you to one of my three Kindle editions of fuck tales, "Locker Room Midnight" in the book Rahm

In that tale, our narrator (purely fictional, of course!) sneaks into a college football locker room, wanks off on a pile of smelly, sweaty jock straps and football gear, and gets caught! Oh my! ...only to have a vigorous fuck session with a coach. He even takes home some straps and jerseys as souvenirs.

No, that never happened. Not at all! (wink)

And now, some pics of hot firefighters.



























Okay, most of those were models pretending to be firemen. These are real firefighters on strike, showing off their nice butts.


And here is Michael Biserta, former real firefighter, and his giant hose:



video

No comments: