Simon Marini: the manly Mutant shows off his X-manhood

Another stud in Mixed Martial Arts has shown off his manly beauty, this time Canadian hunk Simon Marini, aka "The Mutant." Simon has shared his gorgeous muscular body, including his sizable uncut penis and firm man ass, in a series of modeling shoots for Nasty Pig and Jockstrap Central. And here is basically every photo I could find! 

Although he's retired from the ring, he had a good record. His cage rank is HERE, but to us, he's Numero Uno!

This beautiful series of photos shows him in his MMA prime. 
 But now he's a hot muscle daddy! 

First, let's start with the ring pics. He's hot enough merely shirtless in the ring. As this promo clip proves, he was incredibly cute as a youth. 

Now he's a hot zaddy you want to ride like a roller coaster of muscle!

Update March 2019: Simon has caught up with his cult fandom, and now has an OnlyFans account where he gets naked, jacks off and has sex with his hot girlfriend! Whoo-hoo!
He also has a PG-ish Instagram account, and his Twitter account teases the nudie pics and vids.

Santa, Baby! Jaxton Wheeler as Santa Cock

Well, this is pretty much all I'd want for Christmas. Jaxton Wheeler dressed up like Kris Kringle, bare-fucking my ass. Talk about a stuffed stocking! (embedded clip after the jump).

Happy holidays, folks!

Christmas Cuties and Holiday Horndogs

Y'all know how much I LOVE Christmas, er, Solstice, er, Santa, Krampus, whatever. It's a fun time, and wearing nothing much more than a little red hat gets these guys hard.

Studly Saint Nick: A Very Cougar Christmas: 90s porn stud refound

While digging out the holiday gay apparel, I found a box of old VHS porn, and almost threw out one that had my first scene found of chunky blond pale-assed stud Nick Cougar.  

Actually, I'd forgotten his name until Xhampster had several with his name credits, which I found while looking for Michael Parks clips. Well, he also used the names Nick Carrington and Adam Rose. It's hard to find his clips, with terms "cougar" leading to older women and anime porn.
DVDs and VODs are a dime a dozen now, but frak eBay and POD. LOL!

Well, Christmas cums early for me! 

Santasmicly Delicious

It's another round of Sexy Santas, an extra holiday treat.

Ho ho hos

Yes, I'm getting a jump on the holiday season with some HannaKwaanzaChristmassy nudes.

And no, I'm not going to post any of the pictures from this comic blog post of old dads posing naked in front of Christmas trees... except this one:

Worshipping the Oakes' Tree

Y'all know I'm a pagan. so this is a special holiday season.
Oh, yeah, this was all done way before Jesus' time.

Christmas tree? you bet, but it's long been worshipped.
trees, that is.

Well, my holiday came early, and so did I.


I'll give you a tree... and some spurting sap!

Remember Tim Oakes? you will.



The famed long-dicked exhibitionist British rugby player, after wagging his wang in a short documentary about his club, posed for an exclusive astounding photo shoot for



Only weeks ago, a Cam 4 video of his bursting with pride, showing it all, was recorded.






Worship the Oakes tree.






also on Xtube.


also on Tabloid Heat.

And at Sexi world, too!



also on Rapidshare.

Here's the old video of tim slapping his wet cock around the locker room.

Happy Horny Holidays!


Here's the sap:

Prince Albert in Your Can

Is every guy who has a pierced cock insane?
Not really.
Just every guy with a pierced dick whom I've dated.

Oh, and this guy:



"Australian police Sergeant Andrew Lawrance might lose his job after offending his boss when he attached a bottle opener to his penis piercing and opened a beer with it at a police Christmas party. What a way to get canned.

Apparently Lawrance told a group of his colleagues and their wives about his piercing at the party and they asked to see it, so he went to an empty bathroom stall, attached the opener, and returned to demonstrate his patented way to pop open a brewski. This was way back in 2008, but Lawrance had to testify about the incident in front of a police commission this week after his boss took offense to the trick, even though he didn't see it.

Strangely enough, this wasn't the first time Lawrance got in trouble for his little "trick," and he even got counseling after doing the same thing several years ago. Some people just never learn! Lawrance thinks losing his job over the incident would be "harsh," but don't worry about him too much: He already has a part-time job. Working in a bottle shop. No lie! I really hope he comes to America and goes to some crappy party where a guy pulls out his tiny junk piercing and then Lawrance steps up, gets all Crocodile Dundee, and goes, "That's not a dick piercing. Now this is a dick piercing.""



Seriously, ask any grown man to make a choice: Kiss your mother on the lips or spike a nail through your wiener. 99 times out of a hundred, they'd rather kiss their mom.
not the guys four I dated with jewel jewelry. Each one was/is nutso in his own special sexy way.



While there were so many other reasons to stop dating them, the real truth is, I've always said, when pals asked me why Hottie #470 isn't my arm candy anymore, is that sex with them was like sucking off a bottle opener. And this hot Aussie cop is literally a bottle opener.

But the copper's in luck, having gotten job offers to work in a New York bar. Why he got hassled for whipping out his cock in a bar only proves that he hasn't been to the bars I patronize.

Hell, i'm sure there's a fetish DVD already out there called Prince Albert in Your Can.

Stuffed Stockings

All I want for Christmas is Antonio Sabato, Jr.

Okay, I'll settle for a bootleg of each of his segments on last summer's Celebrity Circus, with him flying around shirtless. Or, him, naked, his pendulous uncut cock swaying back and forth, as he gives me a present, as in the otherwise tedious film Testosterone.

And then he can fuck me hard, like this:


This is where I unleash my Santa hat fetish:








I mean, really; what could be more hot than a chubby silver bear who breaks into houses to give kids toys?

For more Xxxmas fun, check out NightCharm's X-rated Santa video selection from last year.

And once again, I make no $$ off linking it, and it looks ultra sleazy, but here's a pay site for Gay Christmas Porn.

Okay, if Antonio's not available, i'll settle for Enzo Pileri gogo dancing in my living room.





Happy Ho'lidays.

Nice Packages

Christmas is the time for tacky decorations, false sincerity and mass consumerism, eggnog, being with family, while secretively logging on to porn site's on your parents' computer.

Of course, if you need your Yule Log warmed up, you could visit www.GaychristmasPorn.com. I'm not recommending you pay for a membership, nor is the link a money-maker for me. It's just a funny odd site I found while looking for gay X-rated holiday pics.

If you're smart and live where there are Jewish folks, you abandon all the holiday crap, and go see a movie and have Chinese food with your gay Jewish friends, then have hot kosher sex with one or more of them. I have, but this year, it's a boring holiday in the east, without my gay friends. I'll be back in the city for a hot gay New Year's soon!

Happy stolen Pagan holiday!

Post-Holidaze

So, I was a bad boy for Christmas.
I only got a few toys.





Oh, and my New Year's resolution is to quit smoking - while guys ejaculate on my face, at least.

Excuse me for being a bit tardy with the hot stuff.
Things are so fucking strange! Dictators hanged, the Army calling up Dead Troops.
It's weird. A strange new year.

Git Yer Kit Off!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Google Cockodoodle

Jeebus fuckin Christmas. Can't those reichsters get their own porn? Oh, that's right. They can't hire Jeff Miss Piss Gannon any more for their closeted canoodling. Pathetic.

Google reps say they'll fight the subpoena, following its motto, "Don't be evil." Yahoo has complied with a similar demand, following its motto, "Don't wait a minute to roll over and take it like a cheap whore for evil."

(Update, Jan. 25:) Hilarious commentary by the always on-target Mark Morford of SFGate.com.

"Log in to Google and type the words "hot bunny terrorist fluffer banana" into the comely and world-beloved Google search engine. Do it. Do it now.

Oh no wait, make it "Osama butt pancake lube explosives yay." Or better yet, try "homemade nuke porn lollipop kiddie nipple bomb!!!" (Be sure to include extra exclamation points because as we all know, Dubya isn't the brightest of presidents and these will add zing and personality to your entry and make your search terms -- the very ones the Bush administration is right now subpoenaing the Google corporation to gain access to -- really stand out to the FBI and the Department of Justice, which are always in need of a little zing).

It shall be a mini-movement. It shall be called "Operation Screw With the DOJ and Make Lynne Cheney Squirm.

Log in to Google. Type "Karl Rove eaten by giant homosexual squid." Type "George W. Bush beaten to lifeless pulp by swarm of angry kindergarten children." Enter "Samuel Alito loves his 'Weapons of Ass Destruction IV' DVD." It might not be much, but it sure sends the right kind of message. Don't you agree?"