Mario Lopez: Asstastic!

Faster than you can say, "Lick my pootie hole!" screencaps of Mario Lopez's super fine ass cheecks, wet and bared in a shower scene from an upcoming episode of the cable show Nip/Tuck have swirled all over the Internet, proving that my very first search request in 1996, "Mario Lopez nude" has finally come to fruition.

Any fan who saw his biopic of gay Olympic diver Greg Louganis knows how his gluts packed a tight pair of Speedos. But that weren't enough for us devoted fans of his gorgeous body and mediocre acting skills.

Anyone who endured the sickly sweet Saved by the Bell deserves to see this muscled treat. Reports say that he and co-star Julian McMahon (shown naked as well, yada yada, who cares?) would share a "homoerotic encounter."

Well, this may suffice for now. But what we'd like to see is a fall-down wet horny hump session with floppy and erect cocks being soaped up, and jerked off.

Oh, well. Can't expect too much -yet.

Sure, he's a cheating philanderer who fucked around (with a woman allegedly) before and shortly after his abruptly annulled recent wedding. Sure, he's allegedly got a big thick uncut cock, which has yet to be photographed, except through a pair of loose workout shorts, bouncing up and down like crazy.

But considering the popularity of this piece of beef, maybe he'll show us a bit more in the future. He'll never win an Oscar or an Emmy, but in my book, he's already won an Assy.

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