Patriot Ass

My horoscope today: You are the subject of someone's overactive imagination. Stand up for the truth.

Of the 90,000 visitors to my blog this week, a mere few have attempted to string together their Bizarro World illogic as 1. the fault of "the left," and my being some sort of ambassador of all "the gays," 2. my fault for "outing" Matt Sanchez, 3. my fault for claiming to out Sanchez, when others did.

love their "ex-gay" whores, even if they're still gay. They love to dump even the most timid and discreet leftwinger in with the likes of smut maker/fans like me. They love their "reformed" sluts, and still falsely claim that sex has nothing to do with it.

It has everything to do with it.

They still think themselves morally superior, despite the fact that hundreds of Republican politicians and officals nationwide have been jailed for molesting children, even their own, all they have to throw back is "Clinton's penis." Oh, and Barney Frank's whore-associating days.

Fortunately, saner minds prevail, like the comments at Inherently Wrong (post deleted)

And wacky minds at GodHatesXXX (blog deleted) put it all in perspective with a sense of humor. Because, after all the hubbub and hundreds of comments posted everywhere, it's still pretty funny.

The reichwing toolbots on Fux News and at CPAC got hosed, and not even (allegedly; who knows what went on in Hannity's dressing room?) in a good way.

Look, Matt. I love you. Really, I do. Okay, I like you. I like your hot body. I like the porn you did. I like that you offered a (hopefully) quality service to your customers. I like that you're a top.

Goodness knows, we've given each other a hot load of free PR. And I thank you.

But I don't like that you're now bottoming for duplicitous rightwing wankers (We don't mind "faggots," just so long as they don't try to marry), and if I helped you get ground up by the blog and media machine -even if you deserved it- that's my Santorum to wipe off.

You're a tough guy. You're a Marine. You bravely defended a folding recruitment table against the Columbia Vegan Student Insurrection. You want a medal? You got one.

You want to be the butt boy of the far right smugocity?
Hey, that's your "lifestyle" choice.

I'm sure your clients and Manhunt buddies will miss you.

UPDATE, MAY 11: In news that should surpise no one, Matt has allegedly posted a new profile on ManHunt looking for -quelle non surprise!- more gay sex. Queerty had all the gossip and transcript of a recent exchange online (deleted). Gee, Matt, you're a really bad liar.

RELATED POSTS: April's Fool Daze, Spartannical and the original, Dirty Sanchez.


Darleen said...

I'd like to say its amusing that you enjoy sprinkling your posts with "reichwing" when you seem to be so ignorant that if those right of center were "reich", you'd have been packed off into the ovens long ago.

But the term is just so boring and as intellectually vapid as your "rethugs are child rapists" schtick.

And no where in your rant is there any attempt to address actual points raised by Jeff Goldstein. But we know why, don't we?

You're all dick and no balls.

Tom said...

Ah, the necon, "real con" (or whatever you call yourselves) vultures have begun to migrate to my blog.

What's the matter, doll? Can't get any porno in your red state?

This. Is. a. Porn. Blog.

Get a fucking clue.

"...you'd have been packed off into the ovens long ago."

You'd love that, wouldn't you? You people are psychotic.

I'm not "addressing" any actual points "raised" by your pedantic Jeff because I don't give a rat's ass what any of you think.

You're all cunt and no punt.

Willy said...

Tom, don't let 'em get to you. Your expose has been fantastic. Thanks!

Pookie65 said...

Semper Fi, Thomas (sorry couldn't resist)

Thanks for the link up. I don't need to tell you this I'm sure but I wouldn't worry about what any of the psycho-publicans have to say. While you helped uncover something distasteful, regardless of the political party, you've done a service by exposing gross hypocracy. The Repiblicans have made religion and politics so damn nasty in then past decade that when one of their quasi-celebrities screw up they have to accept that it's NEWS. Period.

Cool website you have. I'll visit often.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Willy said...

According to the Marine Corps Times, Sanchez's military status is IRR, which means Individual Ready Reserve. This matters because IRR marines, soldiers, sailors and airmen are inactive. They aren't attached to any reserve unit. They don't drill monthly and yearly like active reservists do.

Thus, a more accurate description of Mr. Sanchez is "former marine." I'm not sure what he's told people at Columbia, but if he's been holding himself out as a reserve corporal he's probably been lying, unless he was an active reservist until very recently.

I seem to recall that Sanchez has claimed that his reserve unit might soon be called to Iraq. As an IRR member, i.e., a former marine, Sanchez is not part of any reserve unit. Again, we'd need to know when Sanchez was last (if ever) an active reservist to know whether any of his "reservist" claims were true.

Maybe some others can do some research on this issue.

Tom Bacchus said...

"But the term is just so boring and as intellectually vapid as your 'rethugs are child rapists' schtick."

Oh, also, Darleen, dear; I hardly see how the puerile insults on Protein Jizzdom are "intellectual." Is calling me a whore, a john, and other silly names your idea of intellectual?

Calling the subject of two screedfilled, rabidly obsessive posts a "troll" - how is that 'intellectual?'

At least I'm being honest about my bratty insults.

And the link I posted, to www.armchairsubversive.com, is hardly a "schtick," dear.

Every child molesting Republican listed on that website has either been convicted or sadly committed suicide.

Unfortunately for your obscure "party" of Libertarians, there's no such similar list.

Perhaps it's because nobody cares about a theoretical party that does nothing good or bad, except talk.

Your mentor Jeffy's accusation of my "outing" Sanchez is bullshit. He himself admitted that it was all "out there already" in an interview linked to the above post, "Spartannical."

Once agin, you're wrong, and stupid.

Anonymous said...

haha go tom! this is hilarious. Hypocricy is something I can't stomach (that porn star, on the other hand).....

Luc said...

Darleen sweetheart, you know where you can shove your narrow-minded hate.

Consider me a new reader Tom.

Tom Bacchus said...

Thanks, folks. I do enjoy a good argument, but appreciate support more.

And Luc, your illustrations are fantastic! Everybody go visit his blog!!