It's a Porny World,

...we just live in it.

Okay, so if you're at all a sentient being who watches TV or surfs da 'net, you know that snotty little "I'm a Christian, and a model" (but not a model Christian) Carrie Prejean (WTF kind of name is that, anyway?) aka Miss California USA (the 2nd-rate Miss USA beauty pageant) stole the thunder from the actual winner (Can anyone name the winner? I thought not) by answering pigfaced gossip "columnist" Perez Hilton (aka Mario Laundery) who was a judge at the contest (that's how you know it's 2nd-rate), and asked her about gay marriage, and she benignly replied what it seems a majority of voting Californicators believe (fucked up as it may be; thanks, corrupt cult Mormon Church and perv-infested Catholic church, for funding this hate war!) that "everyone should have a choice, but it's man-on-woman action for marriage; no offense" or something like that.

So; firestorm of YouTube videos, yadda yadda, then Whammo, pageant official spills the silocone beans that Carrie had boob implants, then semi-nude modeling pics of the gal show up, then details of her parents' divorce surface, where court records show Ma & Pa Prejean accused each other of being gay.

"These attacks on me and others who speak in defense of traditional marriage are intolerant and offensive," said the slut, her, Christian model. Gee, we're intolerant of her intolerance! Right. She should have a right to model crotchless panties fer Jeebus!

Then, or somewhere in the middle, NOM (the anti-gay marriage group allegedly secretly
funded by the Mor(m)ons and unintentionally named after LOLcat lingo) distanced themselves from Prejean, and copyright wars ensued over pretty much everyone stole clips from each other on both sides.

Got it? Good.

It's not like beauty pageants are about showing off flesh. I mean, look at Mr. Panama, Ryan Oliver. I mean LOOK at him!



He got dumped because he made a Sean Cody jack off video. Gosh, who hasn't made a Sean Cody jackoff video would be a more easily answered question. I mean, why not have all beauty pageant contestants masturbate? It'd be easier.

Even a gay beauty pageant kicked Mr. Argentina out for doing porn. He later went on to (thankfully) make porn. But still, what total hypocrisy!

Pretty much every male bodybuilding contestant has posed nude, or done a jackoff or sex tape or is a hustler. That's apparent from this blog, which puts the muscley body parts together for chronically cock-stroking fans.

You'd think that religious doofs would approve of masturbation. It's the best form of safe sex there is.

But no, underage slut Bristol Palin, who never understood the concept of abstinence, or blow jobs, let Levi Johnson get his Johnson out of his Levi's and in her cooze, and became the preggo liability in the epic failure of the McCain-Palin GOP presidential race, is now forcing her "Do as I say, not what I so stupidly did - in my Mom's house" finger-pointing lecture to other school kids!


Speaking of school kids, John Gechter, some doof at a private Christian school got kicked out for doing - you guessed it- a gay online porn video! Yep, he did gay porn to pay for his Christian edumication. Somebody took the "Eat, for this is my body" stuff a little too literally.

Shouldn't we all take a lesson from conservatives?
Definitely! Put on a diaper and hire hookers!

Louisiana GOPig politico David Vitter, who was exposed for dressing up in Kimbies and playing 'Milk Me, Mommy' with female whores, is being possibly challenged in the next Senate erection, er, election by straight female porn star Stormy Daniels (shown in link getting plowed by every gay's favorite muscle-ass het porn dude, Dillion Day, whom I hope she appoints as her Secretary of My Interior!)

What next, famous actors doing gay porn?



Nope, some part of that pic is a fake, like probably Shia LeBeouf's head ("The Associate" is yet another John Grisham "legal thriller" - yawn). Not that he doesn't resemble pretty much any nameless twink in online porn. And not that Shia's pouty lil face just begs for a multiple cum facial. Surprisingly, that's the only fake celebrity porn news this week.



Whew! I'm exhausted! I think I'll go jack off, or enter a beauty contest, or run for office, or do all of that simultaneously.