A Nice Jewish Boink

GoodIs has a feature about straight porn stud James Deen, which provided me with the ammo for a post about him.

The feature (and Slate's tangent article) discusses "porn women like" which implies that women like to see a nice guy who isn't overbearing boink a lady. Also, men are intimidated by male str8 pornsters who are hotter than the viewer (like muscle stud Dillion Day, perhaps?).

"He filled a void the industry hadn’t even realized existed. “Here comes my skinny little Jewish ass,” Deen says of his debut. “Everyone’s like, ‘Huh, he stands out.’ It was a Where’s Waldo-type situation.” Viewers turned off by the typical porn guy— especially young women—started picking Deen out of the scenery.

Today, they can watch him engage in vanilla sex with large-breasted “schoolgirls” for Brazzers, bind and gag sex slaves for Kink.com, stage explicit Seinfeld parodies for New Sensations, and penetrate punk princesses for Burning Angel. There are some things he won’t do: Deen stopped working for one site because he found the plots “a little rapey."

He records a new scene almost every day. In 2009, when Adult Video News named him “Male Performer of the Year,” he was the youngest guy ever to snag the title. Deen knows he should have been thinking, “‘I’m the man! I won this!’” Instead, he snuck outside for a cigarette to avoid taking the stage. “My overanalytical Jew brain goes, ‘Fuck, I have to win this every year or it goes downhill. I’ve peaked at 20.’”

But despite a growing female following, the industry’s engineers are reluctant to invent new uses for him. Like all men who work consistently in pornography, Deen is clean, punctual, and erect. He knows how to angle a woman toward the camera. In some videos, he appears only as a disembodied, thrusting penis. He bills himself as “the luckiest boy alive.” Deen is polite, self- deprecating, and speaks well of everyone."

See? A nice Jewish boy who can also plow you into next week with his enormous schlong. And his Robin costume in a Batman porn parody satisfies anyone's superhero porn taste.

Deen reminds me of a few nice straight college pals who let me suck them off, and one particularly nice dorm-mate who didn't mind my peeking in on his regular banging of chicks. We had separate rooms, but close enough for a little voyeuristic fun.

Deen also has done some rather odd kink videos which I find disturbing, but hey, it's consensual, so whatever. I do like that he likes getting his skinny butt licked on occasion.

You can watch James Deen go to town HERE, HERE and HERE, HERE and on lots of other sites (I chose not to embed any videos due to annoying pop-up ads).

Of course, given my druthers of hot straight nice Jewish boys for whom I'd trash my entire porn collection just for the chance to be plowed by, I'd choose journalistic integrity up my butt.

It's with a little guilt that I've often found my hand in my pants during ABC News reports about the Gulf oil spill, only because it was reported by the utterly gorgeous sweet boyish Matt Gutman.

The acknowledged subject of adoration by ladies and guys, it's almost ridiculous to know that Gutman had previously only done radio news. Really? Radio, with a cute face and that hot body? Sheesh.

Anyway, Gutman is straight, happily married and yet does not get enough air time to suit his fans' desires.

Can you imagine him anchoring? Already thousands, if not millions, of fans swoon whenever he does a segment where he gets wet or goes shirtless, or even, as in one clip, drops trou under a towel! Oh, my.

Either way, whether it's hardcore or hard news, Happy Hannacock!