Softcore Sexsational

One of my guilty pleasures is softcore erotica. It's not X-rated, but often features some of the hottest men in cinema. Used to be, I'd cop a hot all-too short hump scene on Skinemax (Cinemax) or HBO. But when the Playboy Channel started flirting closer to X-rated shows, the level of sexuality increased.
The gold standard of softcore, of course, is the guys. Once limited to a few stars like Danny Pape of Jason Schnuit, the plots were limited to the usual "torrid" adulterous affairs taking place in restaurant storage rooms or tacky bedroom sets decorated by some queen obviously obsessed with Pier 1 Imports.
My all-time favorite is of course Emmanuelle in Space, which featured some of the hottest male butts in softcore history, inlcuding Paul Michael Robinson, who wins the award for the Greatest Ass in Softcore. Some extended scenes seemed to hone in on the male posterior, because of course, they didn't/couldn't show insertion or "plumbing" shots.
The fun game while watching is 1) try to spot a dick, 2) see if the guy's dick is hard, or anywhere near the gal's pussy, 3) detect a "cock sock" or fabric-type condom men wear to maintain standard union practices.
But those precautions seemed to have gone in some short films, which include hardcore porn actors getting more sexual. I wonder if sometimes they're really fucking, and just not showing it, or shooting two versions.
Either way, it's reassuring to see that at least one man is as amused (if not obsessed) by the genre as me. Mike has an exhausting array of wonderful screencaps from nearly every notable softcore cable film. Playboy's are more sexual, and one can spot a few boners, which is nice. Still, the main event is the cushiony array of muscular male asses, humping, pumping, and faking passion while grabbing silicone boobs.
The one comment I have is; if straight people always fucked like this (cocks missing pussies, and finishing off within a few minutes), it'd be a wonder any people had kids.

God, Grant Me

It's a little late to honor Black History Month, but this guy is so big, hopefully he'll make up for it.

Bill Grant, former Mr. America, stands proud tall, and thankfully nude in this vintage set posted by HawFilHunk at Campfire. Thank you!

Enjoy lots more pics of Bill Grant here, as well as a brief bio, on this wonderful bodybuilding champ pic site.

Like African-American gay bodybuilder and Colt model Chris Dickerson, Bill (don't know if he's gay) fortunately posed fully nude in this photo shoot years ago. To paraphrase a Janet Weiss line from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I don't usually like my men with too many muscles, but sometimes, along with the beefcake, a palpable sensuality accompanies all those well-proportioned muscles. In other words, I'd lick every ripple of Bill's body, suck him all night, and let him fuck me before, during, and after a heavy workout!















Download a hot funny vintage movie of Bill Grant playing royalty (in what resembles a Burger King crown) in a vintage (Bob Mizer, I think) film with tasty full frontal nudity by Bill and Jim Horn called White Captive. Oh, to be his slave! Enjoy Hunky Black History!






White Captive, 45 MG avi, via Rapidshare.

Airbones Butt-Busted

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Hump Rump

In honor of Hump Day (Wednesday), here's a brief clip (6mg, avi, rapidshare) of studpuppy Dylan Edrington humping a pillow in the horror flick 2001 Maniacs, a followup to the gory 2000 Maniacs.

I usually hate slasher pics. The prudish morality in the plots usually involves any sexually active teens getting killed. But this clip serves as a minute's worth of cute ass enjoyment. Unfortunately, it's a case of humptus interruptus.




















If you need more (and who doesn't), here's a lovely body double who goes all the way to shooting a nice little load. I love his ears!
And I do prefer method acting, after all.

For more PG and R-rated fun, check out DudeTube. This persistent blogger posts all the naughty guy stuff allowed on that video-sharing site. I'm not going to be posting any direct screen links, as they load slowly. But be warned! DudeTube takes a LONG time to load, since YouTube links are frequently updated, or regenerated, or whatever. Anyway, enjoy the hot male package-bouncing, butt shots, and those now famous G-String boys. You can also just go to YouTube and search under words like butt, men, gay, underwear, etc.

Happy Hump Day!

Port(hole) in any Storm

Yahoo is now letting the government sneak a peek at our online searches. So, taking a previous post where I referenced columnist Mark Morford to heart, I perused the porny possibilities at Yahoo Video search. Just looking under the word "gay" yielded a bunch of videos; TV shows making snarky commentary about gays, The Robert Smigel Ambiguously Gay Duo cartoons, and a mess of other strange offerings.

But there were a few tasty gay sex movie clips, including a Bel Ami suck and fuck scene, a daddy buttfuck, two Latino younguns fucking, and a few choice cum shots. Meanwhile, as Homeland Security thugs are bumbling through attempts to harass people in libraries, for having leftist bumper stickers, and posing a threat to our national security by downloading porn, Chimpolean is selling off our ports to Arab companies with questionable ties to terrorism.

I've always enjoyed bottoming for hot Arab guys, but Chimpy's taken it a bit too deep.

Gotterdammerbuns

Oh, mein Gott!

German band Rammstein gets totally nude, oiled and Ubergay in their latest video! (rapidshare avi)

They've always pushed boundaries with imagery and lyrics about fascism, which have been misinterpreted by pro-fascists, of course. They also have a live show with the lead singer sporting a fake penis which pisses for minutes on end. I misplaced the link to the video. If you've got it, post a link in comments.

Goodness gracious gluteous gorgeous! I don't know how much more declarative a band needs to be about its amusement by things homoerotic.

"Mann gegen Mann" GERMAN lyrics:
-----------------------------------
Das Schicksal hat mich angelacht
und mir ein Geschenk gemacht
Warf mich auf einen warmen Stern
Der Haut so nah dem Auge fern
Ich nehm mein Schicksal in die Hand
Mein Verlangen ist bemannt

Wo das süße Wasser stirbt
weil es sich im Salz verdirbt
trag ich den kleinen Prinz im Sinn
Ein König ohne Königin
Wenn sich an mir ein Weib verirrt
dann ist die helle Welt verwirrt
Mann gegen Mann
Meine Haut gehört den Herren
Mann gegen Mann
Gleich und Gleich gesellt sich gern
Mann gegen Mann
Ich bin der Diener zweier Herren
Mann gegen Mann
Gleich und Gleich gesellt sich gern
Ich bin die Ecke aller Räume
Ich bin der Schatten aller Bäume
In meiner Kette fehlt kein Glied
wenn die Lust von hinten zieht
Mein Geschlecht schimpft mich Verräter
Ich bin der Alptraum aller Väter
Mann gegen Mann
Meine Haut gehört den Herren
Mann gegen Mann
Gleich und Gleich gesellt sich gern
Mann gegen Mann
Doch friert mein Herz an manchen Tagen
Mann gegen Mann
Kalte Zungen die erschlagen
Schwuler!!!
Mich interessiert kein Gleichgewicht
Mir scheint die Sonne ins Gesicht
Doch friert mein Herz an manchen Tagen
Kalte Zungen die erschlagen
Schwuler!!!
--------------------------------------
ENGLISH LYRICS (from the RAMMSTEIN fan site "herzeleid.com")
Unofficial Translation ©2005 Jeremy Williams.

Destiny smiled on me
and gave me a present
Threw me on a warm star [1]
So close to the skin, so far from the eye
I take my destiny in my own hands
My desire is manned
Where the fresh water dies
because it taints itself in salt
I keep the Little Prince in mind
A king without a queen
When a woman is mistaken about me
then the bright world is confused
Man against man
My skin belongs to the gentlemen
Man against man
Birds of a feather flock together
Man against man
I am the servant of two masters
Man against man
Birds of a feather flock together
I am the corner of all rooms
I am the shadow of all trees
No link is missing in my chain [2]
when lust pulls from behind
My sex calls me a traitor [3]
I am the nightmare of all fathers
Man against man
My skin belongs to the gentlemen
Man against man
Birds of a feather flock together
Man against man
But my heart freezes on some days
Man against man
Cold tongues that beat there
Gay-ah [4]

I'm not interested in balance
The sun shines in my face
But my heart freezes on some days
Cold tongues that beat there

Gay-ah
Man gayfor man [5]

[1] "Warm" means the same as the English word "warm", but also is slang for "homosexual". Thus, the star is either warm or gay, or both.

[2] "Glied" can mean both "link" (of a chain) and "member" – that is, "penis".

[3] "Geschlecht" can mean "sex" or "gender", but can can also be short for "Geschlechtsteil" which means "genitals".

[4] The screaming ("Ah") has been combined with "Schwuler" to make "Schwulah". That, or it's similar to "playa" as opposed to "player", just changing the ending to sound "hip"

[5] Gegen and "gay gen" sound the same. The former means "against", the latter "gay for".

Thanks to Malina at Campfire Video for posting this. You can always get the newest nudes there on the best formatted site for nude celeb gossip.

Joubert-cha!

So, he didn't win a medal, but he's won my heart. Well, maybe just a hardon. He's the only current winter Olympics athlete to have knowingly posed nude, and he looks like he fell out of a Cadinot film. Well, he is French, after all. And I've always enjoyed les beau mecs francais!

Brian Joubert may only be one of the top ten male figure skaters on the planet, but he's the top in my judging skills. He's hot and he knows it. He shows it. His routine in Turin was, like several others, a little off (If you've seen his Matrix number, it's better). Hey, can you do a quadruple turn in the air on ice? I thought not. Nothing worse than a bunch of armchair Dick Buttons catcalling a world class stud from the other side of the planet on tape delay.

While you may not ever aspire to Joubert's gluttonic greatness, or even try a single axel, take a bit of obvious advice from Brian. Make sure to get some tasty photographs of yourself when you are young and beautiful and your body is perfection.

Brian était un peu tendu puisqu'il trébucha sur sa suite de pas et ne terminait que quatrième. Très belle remontée cependant lors du programme long, où malgré la chute d'entrée sur le quadruple et une petite main sur le boucle, l'ensemble des triple est assuré, avec à la clef une deuxième place du libre ! Brian termine troisième au combiné des deux épreuves, à trois petits points et demi de la deuxième place de l'américian Evan Lysacek, la victoire revcenant au patineur nippon Daisuke Takahashi. A noter la belle performance de Yannick Ponsero qui termine cinquième.

Sucking Scott Stapp

Former Creed singer Scott Stapp made a trailer sex tape the night before his recent drunk driving arrest. Stapp, who flogged the Christian crossover angle when with Creed, has certainly shown his more Bacchanalian side in a just-unleashed sex tape. What will all those religious teens whose conservabot parents let them go to Creed rock concerts think? And how fast will they look up the tape online? I didn't know getting sucked off by groupies was part of the "Christian" life, but hey, who am I to criticize?

So far, only a short mini-clip has been posted online. It's not X-rated, unfortunatey - yet.

Also unfortunately, the tape is a fourway with the somewhat repulsive Kid Rock and a few big-haired groupies.

So, no hardcore action yet, but we can certainly expect more to be revealed, like the Paris Hilton, Colin Farrell, Fred Durst, Tom Sizemore, Pam & Tommy, Survivor cast newlyweds, Simon Rex, and oh so many other celebrity sex tapes. Goodness. It's getting to be that one can't keep track of all the famous fucking going on. Brilliant PR move or sad state of celebritydom? Who can say.

Sure, Creed was pretentious. But sexy male baritones in rock are my faves, from Stone Temple Pilots to Nick Name and American Idol 5 studmuffin Chris Daughtry and his band Absent Element. Manly music is the best for romancing and hardcore sex. I just hope Scotty gives us a nice faithful money shot. Eat, for this is my body! Here's a silly fake (apologies to Gilbert & George) of which position I'd like to see Scott take. With arms wide open? How open butt cheeks, too?

Playing Cupid

Ah, Valentine's Day. A happy holiday for lovers, a scourge for the single and horny.

Romance seemed so sweet in the olden days (as with Rob Monroe, Playgirl model at left, who offers a doily valentine and spread hairy legs with candy between them).

Having snagged a few dates for later in the week, I can't help but want to play Cupid for you horndogs out there. Take a gander at the bevy of hung and horny hotties posting on Craigslist.

While I can't guarantee you'll meet them, or even that the links to their ads will remain posted for more than a day, it certainly should give you hope that if you can't find love, at least you can find a huge-cocked pilot in Buffalo (the spectacled stud with goatee, and yes, that erection next to him is real), a Greek circuit stud with a room to share in Miami (the serious-looking one under overhead lighting), or a Dallas daddy with legs spread and a pool to paddle in (mmm).

Sure, it's tough out there. Most online ad photos make ya'll look like the evidence in a CSI show. Lighting, guys. And spare us the spread hole shots. Really. Only a proctologist should know.

But hey, if so many studs are eager to please, and be pleased, there may be hope for all of us.

Well, not everyone. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna shuffle off to Buffalo to choke on some pilot cock.

Fly me to the moon...

Full Moon Music Man

In honor of the full moon, how about some nudie pics of rock's favorite naturist (second only to the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Flea), Wolverine stunt double, and sexy silly stud, the Bloodhound Gang's Evil Jared Hasselhoff!

Jared can't seem to keep his clothes on. He's stripped naked onstage, and on German Tv twice now. Perhaps it's because those hot manly mutton chops are a sign that he's secretly a werewolf. Perhaps he's got an uncontrollable urge to share his sexy bod with the world. Perhaps when he guzzles beer and barfs it up, it might be gross, but peeing it would be more fun. Perhaps he's a raving publicity-hungry lunatic.

Perhaps we should just shut up and enjoy his musical mooning and dick wagging.

Looks like You tube deleted my uploaded video of Jared naked. But they still have the video of the soccer player with his dick flopping around. Funny.

Soccer Cell Sexy

Sometimes, ya can't make up porn to match what's really going on.

Two soccer players are involved in a tasty sex scandal with a fellow British pop singer. Apparently the hot threesome involved a cell phone being shoved down a player's pants, or up his butt, and the pop star taking pictures and sucking off a player, with pics to prove it.

Rumor mongers have speculated that the Brit singer is Will Young, and one of the players is Sol Campbell.


Another nominee is Mr. Lampard, who was involved in a hot sex tape orgy a while back. I have that tape as a lousy quality real movie. But man, the fucking is quite hot.

The tabloid calls the players bisexual. Hey, who are we to criticize? We all know the pics will get ut sooner or later. Until then, here are some hot soccer dick shots. Those guys' cocks just have a way of popping out at the best moments - while cameras are aimed at them.






Of course, the best recent one is this tasty clip of a Dutch player's rather lengthy cock being yanked out of his shorts, and bouncing around more than a soccer ball. Talk about a World Cup! This move is called The Flying Sausage.

Burt Offerings

Happy birthday to the one of the once hottest male celebs to get naked and show his ass; Burt Reynolds was the sexiest male celeb of the 70s, and part of the 80s. Yeah, his life's a mess and now, after way too much plastic surgery, he resembles the Mummy's Grampa. But back in the day, his incredibly stuffed jeans promised the huge cock of many rumors.

I never got into the idea of him fucking Dinah Shore - I mean, isn't that golf event named after her the biggest dykefest ever? Wasn't she a dyke? Were the rumors true, about his bisexuality? Who can say. All I know is, the man posed naked, didn't show it all, unfortunately, yet retained his sense of humor about being a sex symbol, and provided this then-teenager with plenty of furry jack-off material before porn was easily stolen- er, found.